Subject:
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Re: Another interesting essay & how I found it (was: gay by birth vs. gay by choice)
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.debate
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Date:
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Thu, 6 Dec 2001 18:22:50 GMT
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Viewed:
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318 times
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> The very nature of the "harm" that takes place -- that you have to know
about
> it in order for it to hurt -- makes me question the validity of calling it
> harm. DaveE previously asserted that it would be bad for him to cheat on • his
> girlfriend, that he would feel terrible. Why? To my sense of things, • it's bad
> to hurt the feelings of another, but that's not requisite in multiple sex
> partners. The action does not inherently hurt.
Infidelities to do often come out in the end, and of course there is the
possibility of you infecting the partner who is unaware of your secret
liason with some STD or whatever. It is a matter of trust, and if that trust
cannot be guaranteed then for me the relationship is not as good... if you
cheat then you have betrayed the trust whether the other person knows about
it or not. That's just the way I personally see these things.
> It's like saying something that would hurt the feelings of an • oversensitive
> person (however that would be defined) but not a normal helthy person. • Sure,
> someone can get hurt, but _should_ they?
That is for them to say, not you, and it is certainly not a question of
oversensitivity :-) I am quite sure that attempting to pacify your hurt,
irate (and monogamous) partner after they hear of your infidelity by telling
them "they should not feel this way" is not an effective approach.
I think it is a question of honesty; if you want to have an open
relationship then you should be up front with your partner about it.
Jennifer
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