Subject:
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Re: Telemarketers can bite my cuticle (Was: Informal WB Store Survey)
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.fun
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Date:
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Fri, 4 Feb 2000 04:51:50 GMT
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Viewed:
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751 times
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In lugnet.off-topic.fun, Tim Courtney writes:
> In lugnet.off-topic.fun Sproaticus <jsproat@io.com> wrote:
> > So a review:
> >
> > - Quick hang-up == good for telemarketer, bad for you, you're still on • their
> > list.
> > - Lengthy, almost-abusive call == bad for telemarketer, fun yor you, you're
> > still on their list.
> >
> > Abuse the hell out of them. You're doing them a favor.
>
> My favorite one has to be 'Tell me if this sounds like a phone hanging
> up.' *click*
>
> And another one I like is:
>
> Them: 'Is this David Courtney' (which when I answer, it isn't)
> Me: 'As far as you're concerned, this is. No, we're not interested.'
> Them: 'Ok, we'll try back later.'
> Me: 'No, you won't.' *click*
>
> -Tim
One of my hobbies is toying with people who mistakenly call my number. (Oddly
enough, after several years my phone only rarely is rung by telemarketers!)
Some of the best I've found are:
-pick up a conversation with the person in the middle.
*ring*
Me:"Cheese here."
Telemarketer:"Is Mr. Wilkins there?"
Me:"But Jennie was telling me the other day that there was _no way_ that she
would *EVER* go out with Chris again! Can you imagine how I felt later when I
had to work with Chris?"
TM:"...Sir?"
Me:"<more of the same, lay it on thick now>"
TM:*CLICK*
-or-
-go along with whatever they are selling. Make up new names every few seconds.
When they ask for a credit card number, start reeling numbers off at random.
Twenty or thirty digits is a good stopping place. When they ask for a card
type, make something up, like "Mongolian Express". Eventually, they will
realise that you are playing with them, and hang up.
-or-
-wait 10-15 seconds after they have stopped talking before answering. Pretend
that you have a bad connection.
-or-
-pretend that you are rapidly growing younger.
-or-
-start talking in all those pickup lines you've ever heard. That doesn't mean
that hit on the telemarketer (though this is also fun, especially with those
of the same sex as you), just answer whatever they say with a pickup line.
-or-
-pretend that you are a modem. Try connecting at 2400 baud, 14.4, 28.8, 56k
etc.
As you may note; I have too much free time on my hands. Have you heard the
saying 'Idle hands are the Devil's playground'?
-Cheese
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