Subject:
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Re: Corporal punishment (was rah rah, canada!
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.debate
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Date:
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Thu, 5 Feb 2004 09:39:52 GMT
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Viewed:
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587 times
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Upthread, I deliberately set up an extremely constrained example with my
stated assumptions. You are somewhere you HAVE to be (you cannot leave) and it
is unacceptable for the child to be throwing a tantrum. For whatever reason,
be it your fault or not that the tantrum is going on, you have to get the
tantrum to stop as fast as you can.
(maybe you’re in a situation where a terrorist has you hostage and you have
been told get the kid to stop crying NOW or he will be shot... choose whatever
scenario you like to validate my assumptions but they are the assumptions I
used, you can’t walk out with the child and you can’t calmly reason at length
with him, those are givens)
Given those postulates, no amount of reasoning is going to work. You can hold
your hand over the childs mouth but that is doomed to fail. What you really
need to do is get the attention of the child, and do it as fast as you can. A
squirt of water or a slap is going to work better than any amount of talk
talk.
Contrived situation? Sure. But not completely impossible.
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It is improbable, but not impossible.
Surely, the key must then be that you should have the respect of your kids
before you encounter your extreme life-or-death scenario? We don’t share the
same culture or kids, but for me beating children is counter productive.
I occasionally see parents in supermarkets (etc) using the threat of violence to
control their brood; those kids tend to be the most unruly I encounter. After
all, violence begets violence:
NSPCC Director Mary Marsh said:
“Children mainly learn from their parents, and if the lesson is that aggression
pays, we should not be surprised if this behaviour is replicated. Parents need
to show their children that hitting is not acceptable and the best way to do
this is by example”…. psychologist Dr Penelope Leach concludes that “respected
research tells us that the more children are hit, the more aggressive,
disruptive and anti-social they are; the less completely they fulfil their
cognitive potential and the more liable they are to emotional and behavioural
problems, including criminal behaviours, in adolescence and adulthood.”
(Was Bush beaten as a child?)
Now I expect you’ll say that “reasonable chastisement” is fine and should not
cause any problems. You may want to read
this first and then
this:
“The trouble with smacking is that while it punishes difficult behaviour, it
does not show the child how you would like them to act.”
Scott A
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Message is in Reply To:
 | | Re: Corporal punishment (was rah rah, canada!
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| What follows is not my best writing... I used a lot of that up today working on deliverables for my client and for BrickFest PDX. But it's a great topic and I wanted to take one more swing before I went to bed... (...) I know Chris didn't completely (...) (20 years ago, 5-Feb-04, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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