Subject:
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Re: What age does buying lego become embarrassing?
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.general
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Date:
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Fri, 14 Jul 2000 17:03:58 GMT
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Viewed:
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1054 times
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In lugnet.general, Erin Windross writes:
> Well, I'm in my teen years. Voice has gone down, growth spurts, acne (luckily
> I have been spared from that), the usual change. But then there is one thing
> that has REALLY changed. Buying Lego.
>
> I now find it very embarrassing to go to TRU and shop with my mom. It is as if
> everybody is staring at me, and a couple of times I have heard and seen the
> cashiers make rude, sarcastic comments and giving me weird looks. This has
> turned me off, and now I need some help. What should I do? I have tried to
> just ignore it, but the humiliation feeling keeps nagging me. Has anyone else
> had this problem?
>
> Erin
> --
Thinking about this ...
I bet it's the fact that you go there with your mother that
sets the context for them to make the comments. Having mom
there casts you in the role of "kid" ... and some people always
feel a little dismissive of "kids." It reinforces that you
are in your early or middle teens, which seems to be the age that
draws the sharpest and cruelest efforts at peer pressure. And
the urge to apply that peer pressure towards teens may just
be latent waiting to be unleashed even in people who should
be old enough to know better.
One thing I'd recommend is that you go through the checkout
line yourself. Now, if mom's buying, that probably won't work,
but if you're spending your own money, it makes sense.
One thing's for sure - the older you get, the less it will
matter. By the time you're old enough to have kids of your
own, no-one will know why you're buying the sets. People will
tend to automatically assume that you're buying for a child. So
don't worry - the awkwardness will ease as time goes by. And, as
you get older, your sense of self will increase, and comments from
other people won't bother you as much.
That might not help much, now. Another thing to remember is that
people tend to react to how you feel and the image you project.
If you are uncomfortable, people's emotional radar can pick up
on that, and their response may be the typical teen-agerish
response of adding insult to injury. But if you can act as though
it is your perfect right to waltz in there and buy and dang thing
you please ... and it is ... then people might not pick up on your
discomfort and react to it. So that might be something to work on.
Often, it's someone's very discomfort and the fact that they
project it that invites other people to respond to them disparagingly.
Think about how people tend to react to shy people. Part of the
problem shy people have is that they project their discomfort,
people pick up on it, and they respond by being uncomfortable
themselves (or, if they're immature, picking on them or whatever).
Which only increases the person's unease about social situations,
which makes them project more discomfort.
Something you can do is to rehearse the scene in your mind.
Imagine buying the set, and having the cashier make an
embarassing comment. Meditate on it and come up with the attitude
you want to have, and practice feeling it. For example, you could
practise feeling a cocksure cheerful attitude. Think "hah,
I am so smart for liking LEGO. Anybody who gives up toys
entirely is stupid." Or whatever you find helps you feel
confident. It may sound silly, but if you can practice having
a feeling, then you often can revive that feeling when you need
it. Then, if it happens in real life, you'll feel better equipped
to deal with the problem. Having a few pre-reheased things to say
might make you feel more confident.
For example, you could laugh and tell them that you just sold
a castle LEGO set for $500 on the internet, and that LEGO is
going to pay your way through college. That might confuse them
enough to boggle any further comments.
Or, tell them "it's for my mom - she's just too embarassed
to buy her own LEGO sets." If you can make a joke of it and
get the person to laugh, then all of a sudden they're laughing
with you and not at you.
One of my favorite moments was overhearing two thirty-something
women talking to each other in a Walmart. They were walking past
some clearance Pirate sets. One said to the other, "Let's buy
some LEGOs, lock the kids outside, and play with it ourselves."
I was disappointed when they didn't actually walk away with any
sets.
Toys aren't just for kids. Adults spend large amounts of money
on whatever they think will give them fun. Playstations, computers,
cars, etc. Having fun is important, and if you choose to have fun
with LEGO, that makes you cool.
Most of all, remember -- someone else's opinion of you is
their problem, not yours. If their lives are so shallow and
empty that they have to prop themselves up by trying to make
you feel uncomfortable, that's their problem, it shows
their immaturity, and, if anything, isn't it wonderful that
you came along to boost their pathetic little egos a bit.
Let it roll off you like water off a turtle's back - if you
don't let it bug you, you have won. You have won, anyways, because
you go home with a box full of ABS goodies with which you can
make cool stuff.
--
Jeff <jthompson@esker.com> "Float on a river, forever and ever, Emily"
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Message is in Reply To:
 | | What age does buying lego become embarrassing?
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| Well, I'm in my teen years. Voice has gone down, growth spurts, acne (luckily I have been spared from that), the usual change. But then there is one thing that has REALLY changed. Buying Lego. I now find it very embarrassing to go to TRU and shop (...) (24 years ago, 13-Jul-00, to lugnet.general)
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