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Subject: 
Re: Child rearing (was: Nothing personal, but...)
Newsgroups: 
lugnet.off-topic.debate
Date: 
Thu, 21 Jun 2001 03:13:21 GMT
Viewed: 
599 times
  
In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Dave Schuler writes:

From a simply pragmatic standpoint, I never saw the "no supper" punishment
as that effective, including those few occasions when I was subject to it.
It was too vague a punishment to have any lasting effect, even in terms of
negative reinforcement.

Punishment doesn't teach what the punisher normally expects.  It merely teaches
the recipient to avoid being caught.  It also creates a divide between the
authority and the punished, rather than bringing them together team-wise.

However, I absolutely don't buy into the thinking that very young children
can formulate complex reasoning about right and wrong when it comes to
abstract matters

But I didn't say they could.  And punishing them doesn't make them do so either
(since we both agree that they can't).  Why not just work with their
limitations by not expecting the impossible?

not feasible simply to explain the situation to the child without forming
some tangible negative (not necessarily physical) association with the "bad"
behavior.

The universe has it's own way of handling 'negative' behavior.  If a child does
stuff that pisses you off, then the child has to deal with a pissed off person.
Just like I do, if I piss you off.  Why does a child need some kind of
artificial extra consequence above and beyond what we all get?

The child may be made to realize briefly that coloring on
the wall with crayon is objectionable, but that won't stop the child from
doing it again in the future.

And you think that some kind of artificial consequence will?  And even if it
will, what is the cost in terms of relationship and personal autonomy?  In
ability to decide for itself?

Chris



Message has 3 Replies:
  Re: Child rearing (was: Nothing personal, but...)
 
(...) Several weeks ago, my step-son was going too close to the road. My wife and I gave him warnings and examples ("that's danger!") as to why he shouldn't get too close. He disobeyed soon after and was caught by me. I gave him another warning and (...) (23 years ago, 21-Jun-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
  Re: Child rearing (was: Nothing personal, but...)
 
(...) Postmodernist "power structure" drum-beating, if you ask me! Your assertion depends on the assumption that people can never grasp a concept of (culture- and society- based) right and wrong but instead must languish in an attitude of "the power (...) (23 years ago, 21-Jun-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
  Re: Child rearing (was: Nothing personal, but...)
 
(...) First off, quick comment. Negative reinforcement is the wrong term here - negative reinforcement refers to the removal of a bad effect, in response to a good action. Negative reinforcement receives the *same* effect as positive reinforcement, (...) (23 years ago, 21-Jun-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)

Message is in Reply To:
  Re: Child rearing (was: Nothing personal, but...)
 
(...) From a simply pragmatic standpoint, I never saw the "no supper" punishment as that effective, including those few occasions when I was subject to it. It was too vague a punishment to have any lasting effect, even in terms of negative (...) (23 years ago, 20-Jun-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)

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