Subject:
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Re: Child rearing (was: Nothing personal, but...)
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.debate
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Date:
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Thu, 21 Jun 2001 03:13:21 GMT
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Viewed:
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599 times
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In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Dave Schuler writes:
> From a simply pragmatic standpoint, I never saw the "no supper" punishment
> as that effective, including those few occasions when I was subject to it.
> It was too vague a punishment to have any lasting effect, even in terms of
> negative reinforcement.
Punishment doesn't teach what the punisher normally expects. It merely teaches
the recipient to avoid being caught. It also creates a divide between the
authority and the punished, rather than bringing them together team-wise.
> However, I absolutely don't buy into the thinking that very young children
> can formulate complex reasoning about right and wrong when it comes to
> abstract matters
But I didn't say they could. And punishing them doesn't make them do so either
(since we both agree that they can't). Why not just work with their
limitations by not expecting the impossible?
> not feasible simply to explain the situation to the child without forming
> some tangible negative (not necessarily physical) association with the "bad"
> behavior.
The universe has it's own way of handling 'negative' behavior. If a child does
stuff that pisses you off, then the child has to deal with a pissed off person.
Just like I do, if I piss you off. Why does a child need some kind of
artificial extra consequence above and beyond what we all get?
> The child may be made to realize briefly that coloring on
> the wall with crayon is objectionable, but that won't stop the child from
> doing it again in the future.
And you think that some kind of artificial consequence will? And even if it
will, what is the cost in terms of relationship and personal autonomy? In
ability to decide for itself?
Chris
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