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Hi Matt,
In lugnet.castle, Matt Hein writes:
SNIP
> Thank you for your comments. They are highly valued.
> (I'm still assessing my target audience. Perhaps It
> would appeal to the more philosophical type?)
Thanks!
That, or if you really worked at it, those interested in a slow building
tension based around thoughts more then events (eg Tolkien's black riders in
'The Fellowship of the ring, the book not the movie! The movie misses the
book's main use of these characters which is seeing them at this point or
this point and knowing they hold a strategic point here or there... Without
having directly seen the event or means. Warning: this requires extreme
skill and even then must be contrasted, eg the rest of LOTR, again the book).
> > If you want my advice it would be to create some contrasts.
> > Such as some characters with simpiler views (to highlight your existing more
> > complicated characters);
>
> I'm planning on editing that as well. It seems that I
> kind of created an antithesis to some of my original
> intentions. For example, I planned to make Argent very
> mysterious and Scorpio rather prevalent. Guess that
> kind of backfired as the reader knows less about Scorpio.
> Perhaps for my next chapter, I'll try to highlight
> him more often.
I was more meaning that you need a some new simple characters (or masses)
whose reactions are easier to follow and who are perhaps holders of much
less rank. It is much easier to show a character, whatever you want to show,
by having a lot of 'understandable' people around him and then expressing
him by the differences in his reactions and attitude towards them.
> How far into the story
> did you read? :)
Not as far as I would have liked (and I think I accidently started a few
chapters in (the top of the 2 links you gave). I am very short on time right
now (hence my absence of late) but hopefully after Christmas I can come back
and give a more thourough opinion.
SNIP
> Definitely...some scenes I went really too far into depth,
> and some (people could argue) I didn't do enough justice.
> I'm still unsure on the battle scene.
In the segment I read (and it was probably just that a segment) I
couldn't quite tell where I was and without any actions except leaning out
of the window, I found it hard to follow the conversation.
Since you seem to like dialouge I would suggest you take another hint
from Tolkien and read the chaapter in the Fellowship about the council at
Elrond's. Here over 20 characters speak or are quoted, the entire plot is
outlined, it is the longest chapter in the early part of the book, you don't
know half the characters, and nothing happens. Yet by accents, speech
patterns and inteligent unexpected ordering of understanding you find it
both interesting and perfectly clear.
>
> God bless you as well.
>
> <<_Matt Hein_>>
> Fellow lego enthusiast
Looking forward to great things,
God Bless,
Nathan
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Message has 1 Reply: | | Re: Please read this!
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| (...) Hmm...seems plausable enough. Oddly, though, I haven't yet taken the liberty to read Tolkein's trilogy yet (possibly due to the fact I don't want to subconsciously take some of the ideas and use them.) I'll probably give it a read, though. (...) (22 years ago, 20-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Please read this!
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| (...) Thank you for your comments. They are highly valued. (I'm still assessing my target audience. Perhaps It would appeal to the more philosophical type?) (...) I'm planning on editing that as well. It seems that I kind of created an antithesis to (...) (22 years ago, 19-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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