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In lugnet.castle, Matt Hein writes:
> In lugnet.castle, Larry Pieniazek writes:
> > I'm a latecomer so I don't know where the FUT belongs but I would tend to
> > think it's out of .general at this point ??
>
> Well, it is a castle based story.
True, but we are talking about storycraft, not castle construction. On
reflection, publish is the right place I think. (and not o-t.geek either)
> Have you
> taken a few moments to review my story yet?
Yes I have. I have not read all of it but I think much of what others said
applies. I found it hard to get the mood, hard to get into the characters
motivations (a good story hooks you in right away and makes you want to read
more) and somewhat overwhelmed by all the adjectives and modifiers. They get
in the way, and if anything, confuse me.
Let's take a few things from this section which if I understand it is an
intro or review http://www.lugnet.com/~1112/Fantasy/Osprey (if it's not, I
can't tell exactly where to start, you may want to consider a table of
contents or arranging the stories one connected to the next)
what does this mean: "conniving in his presence" Was he conniving something?
Is conniving a mannerism? Why not say that he seemed untrustworthy or
whatever you're trying to convey?
How can a presence be conniving?
What does this mean: "Skye looked towards the alomst falconic clouds"
How can clouds be falconic? Does it mean that she saw falcons in the images
that we imagine clouds to contain? Or almost falcons? Or did the clouds
somehow have some other trait that falcons possess?
Moreover, why does it matter? Is this a foreboding of something? How does
this help advance the story or set the mood?
or this: "they had a rather flamboyant discussion at heart, I might add...”
What makes a discussion flamboyant? I thought flamboyant was a manner of
dress or action. It is a description of how a character looks or acts. And
if it was flamboyant at heart, what was it at the center?
> If
> so, a few comments would be appreciated.
See above. Do you have an outline of what you want the entire story to
accomplish? What are the major actions of the characters during it as the
events unfold? What things does the reader need to know up front? How are
you going to expose them without it being a lecture? What things does the
reader need to NOT know to maintain suspense? Do some of the characters know
them? How are you going to prevent the reader from learning them too soon.
Lots and lots of questions like that will help you plan your work. Don't
answer them here. Answer them for yourself and use them as a guide to your
work (and your editing).
Again, the sources given you by others are good starting points. Writing
well is hard work. It takes a lot of drafts and a lot of rewriting until you
are so practiced that it comes naturally.
again, not to praise OSC above all other writers, but this is an invaluable
resource:
http://www.hatrack.com/
particularly this part
http://www.hatrack.com/writingclass/index.shtml and
http://www.hatrack.com/writingclass/faq.shtml
++Lar
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Message has 2 Replies:
 | | Re: Story crafting (was Re: Please read this!
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| (...) Very well. (...) Okay, I'm working on that and a small index. (...) Hmm...you've got a point there. Perhaps I was trying to convey that he was rather evasive (?) Evasive to reveal his opinion? (...) Hmm...okay, the clouds were almost shaped (...) (22 years ago, 23-Dec-02, to lugnet.publish)
| | | Re: Story crafting (was Re: Please read this!
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| (...) Boy, you and Sanburn are really zany for posting-group purity! 8^) I moved my part of the thread to ot.geek because I shifted into a particular discussion of authors, rather than the niceties of writing. But if you think it's better steered to (...) (22 years ago, 23-Dec-02, to lugnet.publish)
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