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Hi Matt,
> I'm planning on editing that as well. It seems that I
> kind of created an antithesis to some of my original
> intentions. For example, I planned to make Argent very
> mysterious and Scorpio rather prevalent. Guess that
> kind of backfired as the reader knows less about Scorpio.
> Perhaps for my next chapter, I'll try to highlight
> him more often.
The new version is much clearer.
A few of suggestions for you:
- you are definitely a writer. The fact that you keep coming back to it,
after so many blunt criticisms, proves this.
- you need to perfect your grammar and word selection. If you have the
slightest doubt about how a word is used, use a simpler word. Suggest you
get a dictionary which includes quotations in it - such as the Oxford.
- (with all due respect to the others on Lugnet) consider doing a creative
writing class, where your aspirations as a writer would be more appreciated
and gently critiqued.
All the best, Mark
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Please read this!
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| (...) Hmm...reading some of the earlier dialogue from the predecessor chapters, I could easily tell I didn't place much incentive to further read within the dialogue. What was I thinking? I'll continue to refine it until something works. Thanks for (...) (22 years ago, 20-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Please read this!
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| (...) Thank you for your comments. They are highly valued. (I'm still assessing my target audience. Perhaps It would appeal to the more philosophical type?) (...) I'm planning on editing that as well. It seems that I kind of created an antithesis to (...) (22 years ago, 19-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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