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Subject: 
Re: sproaty's responses (Re: What do I have to do to..)
Newsgroups: 
lugnet.off-topic.fun
Date: 
Tue, 21 Sep 1999 17:16:59 GMT
Reply-To: 
jsproat@io.*avoidspam*com
Viewed: 
1131 times
  
Joseph Gonzalez wrote:
In lugnet.general, Jeremy Sproat writes:
Yeah -- wait.  Todd gets pretty busy sometimes.
what???
that's it??!??
no zany, off-the-wall response??
are you okay, sproaty?

One or two people let me know that I'm fantastic, while a select few tell me
I'm great, some think I'm okay, and others have the unfounded opinion that I
need professional help.  Personally, I select All Of The Above.

What the--?!  "Sproaty"?  Are you okay, Joe?  ;-)

i look forward to reading your posts (even searching them out from time to
time) just to see the bizarre comments you make and all you say is a one-line
response?

I'm just glad to know I'm not the only one needing professional help!  But
thanks for helping inflate my ego.  :-P

While we're on the topic of "looking forward to", how much longer until you
dig out your bricks again and build another amazingly cool alternate model?
Preferrably something Camelot-oriented...?  (Not that your Phantom of the
Opera page wasn't insanely astounding...!)  :-,

And while we're on the topic of "dig out your bricks", how long before we
start up a "Greater Utah Lego People" club?

okay, you're off the hook for now, but you better say something weird and wacky
next time!

Ummm...  Hmmm...  (confer confer)  *ahem*  Snarfquest this!  Camelot my
shorts, militant Lego zombie!  Clone-heads, I say to you:  desist your
Megablock ways!  Lego bricks soothe the City like a beaucoup ABS hammock.
Spoooooooon!

Not good enough?  I will then describe the meaning of the name "Camelot".

It really has to do with Merlin.  Everyone knows that Merlin, the wizard
whose aging mechanism was forever stuck in perverse gear, was a confidant
and advisor to the infamous King Arthur of England.  What isn't so
well-known is exactly how Merlin's influence caused Camelot to be called
Camelot.

Merlin, born in 1914 Egypt, quickly became a follower of the necromancers of
the Temple of Set -- which naturally resulted in his becoming a powerful
advisor to the Kennedy family.  After a nearly-deadly duel with Joe and Rose
Kennedy involving strip contract bridge, he moved back home to Egypt,
started a tourist-industry camel rental lot, and again started dabbling in
the darker arts.

The camel rental business reaped more rewards than Merlin ever dreamed
possible, and he eventually made a decision to lend his powers to serve good
instead of evil.  He immediately started a plan which would immediately and
fairly settle the 1967 Suez Canal dispute.  Unfortunately, a freak accident
involving a gamma-particle accelerator and a vat of pure camel DNA caused
Merlin to shift both in time and space.  He ended up in a French Templar
order dedicated to studying the nature of inebriated swallows.  To help pay
the bills, they constructed large, wooden tables; the corners of these
tables were shaved down to cut costs, resulting in a very round shape.

Merlin eventually tired of the monastic life, longing to once again serve a
royal family.  He struck south, hoping that the Basque region might have a
powerful dynasty to advise.  Being a man and therefore completely unable to
ask for directions, he ended up on England's Cornish coast.

After futilely looking for years for a king to advise, Merlin pops a Mentos,
snags an urchin from the streets of Uther, and grooms him to be a king.
After a long and greulling brainstorming session, Merlin names the king
"Arthur".  After constructing a crude sonic disruptor cannon from daubing,
bronze, and oak staves, they conquored a good-sized chunk of western England
and settled down to form a kingdom.  Arthur acquired several knights along
the way, and came up with the idea of seating everyone around a
dodecagonal-shaped table to promote equality amongst themselves.  The
addition of Sir Attuckys of Blight severly crimped this number, and Merlin
was forced to put an emergency request for a new table from his Templar
friends in France.  An oversight on the invoice resulted in a round table
being delivered, and the tradition stuck.

The kingdom thrived for a few years, even without a name.  However, a
kingdom without a name makes taxes confusing to submit, and so king Arthur
declared the area to be known as Corn, named after the region of England.
Sir Attuckys of Blight was allergic to corn, however, and a new name was
needed.  Merlin, explaining his blissful camel rental days in Egypt,
suggested "Camel Lot".  The others, never having smelled a camel before,
immediately agreed.

And the rest is history.

Cheers,
- jsproat

--
Jeremy H. Sproat <jsproat@io.com> ~~~ http://www.io.com/~jsproat/
Remember -- the enemy's gate is DOWN.



Message has 3 Replies:
  Re: sproaty's responses (Re: What do I have to do to..)
 
(...) aaahhh...that's what i needed, some utah county insanity (though i have stomach cramps from laughing so much now)....that'll even make up for the lack of news from your refrigerator lately. (...) there IS the lancelot from august (URL) i'm (...) (25 years ago, 21-Sep-99, to lugnet.off-topic.fun)
  Re: sproaty's responses (Re: What do I have to do to..)
 
(...) Hey! You like Snarfquest, too? Cool! I wish Larry Elmore would continue working on it. Maybe he'll do another one for Dragon Magazine's 300th issue. How much of the series do you have? (...) <Snipped Etymology of "Camelot"> (...) That is some (...) (25 years ago, 21-Sep-99, to lugnet.off-topic.fun)
  Re: sproaty's responses (Re: What do I have to do to..)
 
(...) African or European? (...) Uff-da! I haven't groaned *that* much since my last trip to Africa (Posh, posh, the traveling life, the traveling life for me...;-) -John (...) (25 years ago, 21-Sep-99, to lugnet.off-topic.fun)

Message is in Reply To:
  sproaty's responses (Re: What do I have to do to..)
 
(...) what??? that's it??!?? no zany, off-the-wall response?? are you okay, sproaty? i look forward to reading your posts (even searching them out from time to time) just to see the bizarre comments you make and all you say is a one-line response? (...) (25 years ago, 21-Sep-99, to lugnet.general)

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