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Hi Matt,
I had a similar reaction. I couldn't find my way through your sentences. And I
am a very skilled reader.
In lugnet.castle, Matt Hein writes:
> When I write, I tend to place it in a poetic
> stance, however, I've seen the notion that some
> people prefer the more 'straightforward' type of
> writing, which I find rather boring.
Your poetry is fine but your sentences are too long.
> No...didn't intend it that way...then again, there
> are multiply ways in which to interpret the reading,
> so possibly you took a look at it from the wrong angle.
> (otherwise, this particular genre of work might
> not appeal to you.)
Nah, the sentences are just too long. Your poetry and meaning are obscured by
the length of the sentences.
> There are those who
> will figure it out, and those who won't.
Matt, as a writer, you should think about pleasing your audience, because
otherwise no one will become your reader.
All that being said, you have created an interesting world, with good
characters. Keep up your writing - its definitely worthwhile.
Your idea of pics is a great one. I can definitely see a "comic" version of
your story working well.
regards, Mark
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Please read this!
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| (...) Okay, after a small review, I decided to edit some of the sentences. Most of the paragraphs were shortened, and I took the liberty to ameliorate the final paragraphs so they seem more readable. (...) True...they're rather abstruse at times...I (...) (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Please read this!
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| (...) Well, that's a shame to hear... When I write, I tend to place it in a poetic stance, however, I've seen the notion that some people prefer the more 'straightforward' type of writing, which I find rather boring. (...) You'll find (...) (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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