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Subject: 
Re: Please read this!
Newsgroups: 
lugnet.castle, lugnet.general
Date: 
Thu, 19 Dec 2002 13:32:40 GMT
Viewed: 
87 times
  
   Hi Matt,

       I read some of your writing (not sure if this was before or after you
edited it). It is actualy quite good in many ways (but that says a lot about
the reader I am). If you want my advice it would be to create some contrasts.
Such as some characters with simpiler views (to highlight your existing more
complicated characters); also some periods of action or more in depth scene
setting (there may be more I just didn't get far enough). This is just a
suggestion which I think would highlight your story/style rather then
changing it.

     God Bless and keep up the good work,

            Nathan



In lugnet.castle, Matt Hein writes:
In lugnet.castle, Alan Findlay writes:

<some snippage>

The only "glaring failure" would be if you stopped writing altogether.
You've got something that you want to say, that's why you write. Hopefully
this process is helpful for refining your delivery so that your message can
be heard and understood. Don't give up. Keep working at it, and over time
you'll be able to develop a style that both reflects who you are and conveys
your thoughts to your audience.

Alan

True. I don't believe I'm going to quit any time soon,
though. :)

I'm probably going to retype the original project
(since a lot of it is very similar), so hopefully
It will *eventually* become a drawing read. The
story seems fine, but the execution of it doesn't.

<<_Matt Hein_>>
Fellow lego enthusiast.

If I rewrite this again, this will probably be
my third attempt at the project.



Message has 1 Reply:
  Re: Please read this!
 
(...) Thank you for your comments. They are highly valued. (I'm still assessing my target audience. Perhaps It would appeal to the more philosophical type?) (...) I'm planning on editing that as well. It seems that I kind of created an antithesis to (...) (22 years ago, 19-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)

Message is in Reply To:
  Re: Please read this!
 
In lugnet.castle, Alan Findlay writes: <some snippage> (...) True. I don't believe I'm going to quit any time soon, though. :) I'm probably going to retype the original project (since a lot of it is very similar), so hopefully It will *eventually* (...) (22 years ago, 18-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)

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