Subject:
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Re: LEGO Company announces poor performance in year 2000
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.general
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Date:
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Sun, 4 Mar 2001 21:17:59 GMT
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Viewed:
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568 times
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Wow. Thank you for the fantasy. I felt whisked along, as in some psychedelic
trippy state. I want to go on that ride again! (I say with wobbly knees,
stepping out of the Fun House car)
Maybe next time the ride will include: Visions of LEGO DACTA sets, their prices
reduced, dancing on shelves everywhere! Heavenly mall corner stores stocked for
consumer purchase of bulk elements -- the chunky, colorful streams pouring down
clear walls into my shopping bag, ready to be weighed! Illustrations of minifigs
that evolve to being hand drawn with artistic contour lines (of sensitive
varying width) and foreground/background no longer indistinguishable because
someone (who's now canned) thought that "showing off?" graphics made by a
computer was more important to a child than quality illustration! And CD-ROMs
and other short-life media will be wisely avoided, reassuring a passing down of
cherished product to children through generations! The LEGO website will now
have a text-only option, encouraging certain people to re-visit, not leaving
early in disgust!! The nobility of the LEGO name will never again be reduced by
association with cereal box packaging! The designer of the blobby pen cases now
forced to place one of his creations atop the other -- trying and trying to get
them to stack up beyond two! All LEGO decision makers will get tattoos: one for
their right hand reading, "only the best (as in brilliant design) is good
enough," and left hand reminding them that "quantity does not equal quality."
The same individuals will be forced to listen to subliminal message tapes
whenever sleeping that repeat the phrase, "female children buy toys too!" All
structurally unsound SCALA houses will be melted down for creation of a new
gender neutral, inoffensive, intelligent product line that passes the U.S.
Market test. Small toystore owners will be treated with respect and notes will
be taken on their valuable experience gained from interacting directly with
consumers!! That guy with the mustache at LEGO Direct will from now on have his
hands struck with a ruler, wielded by a life-size living Bionicle, until his
knuckles bleed for each time he lies to Suzanne Rich or Todd Lehman! And near
the end of my ride, I'll see hidden camera evidence that this fantasy of ours
has been printed out and taped to bathroom stalls everywhere in the LEGO
Company!
Ahhh... that feels so good. We must do this again some time.
-Suz
In lugnet.general, Paul Gyugyi writes:
> Suz, you've become wise beyond my expectations. I now go out
> of my way to read your posts, whereas before I tended to skip
> the defender-of-the-lego-copyright posts. :)
My eyes are wide, bordering on tears, from feeling so flattered. (truly!) You, a
Master Jedi, saying, "That's pretty good, kid." :-) thank you.
> What I _hope_ the press release says is:
> "All that money we were going to spend on a Harry Potter video
> game and Bioniclemusic.com and comic books? We're putting
> it back into set design! Our sets will have a larger variety of
> small pieces. Focus groups will recommend more pieces to
> connect Bionicle to normal bricks! Martian legs will be
> redesigned so they fit on upside-down torsos! The entire
> division dedicated to designing cheap plastic boxes for
> slizers and racers will be canned! The Lego Pens that have
> bricks that are not even a normal lego size will be sold
> at loss and the profits invested in chalkboards where the decision
> makers can write "It's the BRICKS, stupid!" 1000 times. each morning.
> Themes will be exended to have a second release, like an extra year
> of Rock Raiders, with smaller cockpits (4x10, like the prototype
> pictures) and normal minifigs with smiles and no names. Castle
> buckets and Space Buckets (containing 50% basic bricks) will be
> released. Anyone who proposes a light-and-sound element larger
> than 4x6 studs will be defenstrated. A castle expansion for the
> RDS will be released, with instructions for building motorized
> drawbridges and waterwheels out of normal bricks. The LoM shuttle
> will be recalled and re-released to be plug compatible with the
> spaceport shuttle. We will sell the ZNAP fab machines and use the
> money to make molds for 1x2-plates-with-sidebar that don't have
> mis-alignement ridges that prevent them from staying in place in
> the new LoM sets. The FLASH web adventure for bionicle will be
> stopped immediately. The money will be spent on playtesting sets
> and seeing if splitting a 2x4 brick into two 1x4s allows a
> wider range of alternate models."
>
> But I doubt it. sigh.
>
> -gyug
>
>
> In lugnet.general, Suzanne D. Rich writes:
> > Because they've said it directly to my face. I didn't believe it, not in the
> > way most folks here see it meaning. I saw a face that wanted (in a fantasy) to
> > have things back-to-basics, but was having say something else.
> >
> > The words spoken to me were the same ones as in the PR.
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Message has 1 Reply:
Message is in Reply To:
 | | Re: LEGO Company announces poor performance in year 2000
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| Suz, you've become wise beyond my expectations. I now go out of my way to read your posts, whereas before I tended to skip the defender-of-the-lego-copyright posts. :) What I _hope_ the press release says is: "All that money we were going to spend (...) (23 years ago, 2-Mar-01, to lugnet.general)
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