Subject:
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Re: LEGO Company announces poor performance in year 2000
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.general
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Date:
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Mon, 12 Mar 2001 21:32:41 GMT
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Viewed:
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612 times
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You're not going to go into that story about meeting Timothy Leary at
Legoland, CA, again are you?
: )
In lugnet.general, Suzanne D. Rich writes:
> Wow. Thank you for the fantasy. I felt whisked along, as in some psychedelic
> trippy state. I want to go on that ride again! (I say with wobbly knees,
> stepping out of the Fun House car)
>
> Maybe next time the ride will include: Visions of LEGO DACTA sets, their prices
> reduced, dancing on shelves everywhere! Heavenly mall corner stores stocked for
> consumer purchase of bulk elements -- the chunky, colorful streams pouring down
> clear walls into my shopping bag, ready to be weighed! Illustrations of minifigs
> that evolve to being hand drawn with artistic contour lines (of sensitive
> varying width) and foreground/background no longer indistinguishable because
> someone (who's now canned) thought that "showing off?" graphics made by a
> computer was more important to a child than quality illustration! And CD-ROMs
> and other short-life media will be wisely avoided, reassuring a passing down of
> cherished product to children through generations! The LEGO website will now
> have a text-only option, encouraging certain people to re-visit, not leaving
> early in disgust!! The nobility of the LEGO name will never again be reduced by
> association with cereal box packaging! The designer of the blobby pen cases now
> forced to place one of his creations atop the other -- trying and trying to get
> them to stack up beyond two! All LEGO decision makers will get tattoos: one for
> their right hand reading, "only the best (as in brilliant design) is good
> enough," and left hand reminding them that "quantity does not equal quality."
> The same individuals will be forced to listen to subliminal message tapes
> whenever sleeping that repeat the phrase, "female children buy toys too!" All
> structurally unsound SCALA houses will be melted down for creation of a new
> gender neutral, inoffensive, intelligent product line that passes the U.S.
> Market test. Small toystore owners will be treated with respect and notes will
> be taken on their valuable experience gained from interacting directly with
> consumers!! That guy with the mustache at LEGO Direct will from now on have his
> hands struck with a ruler, wielded by a life-size living Bionicle, until his
> knuckles bleed for each time he lies to Suzanne Rich or Todd Lehman! And near
> the end of my ride, I'll see hidden camera evidence that this fantasy of ours
> has been printed out and taped to bathroom stalls everywhere in the LEGO
> Company!
>
> Ahhh... that feels so good. We must do this again some time.
>
> -Suz
>
> In lugnet.general, Paul Gyugyi writes:
> > Suz, you've become wise beyond my expectations. I now go out
> > of my way to read your posts, whereas before I tended to skip
> > the defender-of-the-lego-copyright posts. :)
>
> My eyes are wide, bordering on tears, from feeling so flattered. (truly!) You, a
> Master Jedi, saying, "That's pretty good, kid." :-) thank you.
>
> > What I _hope_ the press release says is:
> > "All that money we were going to spend on a Harry Potter video
> > game and Bioniclemusic.com and comic books? We're putting
> > it back into set design! Our sets will have a larger variety of
> > small pieces. Focus groups will recommend more pieces to
> > connect Bionicle to normal bricks! Martian legs will be
> > redesigned so they fit on upside-down torsos! The entire
> > division dedicated to designing cheap plastic boxes for
> > slizers and racers will be canned! The Lego Pens that have
> > bricks that are not even a normal lego size will be sold
> > at loss and the profits invested in chalkboards where the decision
> > makers can write "It's the BRICKS, stupid!" 1000 times. each morning.
> > Themes will be exended to have a second release, like an extra year
> > of Rock Raiders, with smaller cockpits (4x10, like the prototype
> > pictures) and normal minifigs with smiles and no names. Castle
> > buckets and Space Buckets (containing 50% basic bricks) will be
> > released. Anyone who proposes a light-and-sound element larger
> > than 4x6 studs will be defenstrated. A castle expansion for the
> > RDS will be released, with instructions for building motorized
> > drawbridges and waterwheels out of normal bricks. The LoM shuttle
> > will be recalled and re-released to be plug compatible with the
> > spaceport shuttle. We will sell the ZNAP fab machines and use the
> > money to make molds for 1x2-plates-with-sidebar that don't have
> > mis-alignement ridges that prevent them from staying in place in
> > the new LoM sets. The FLASH web adventure for bionicle will be
> > stopped immediately. The money will be spent on playtesting sets
> > and seeing if splitting a 2x4 brick into two 1x4s allows a
> > wider range of alternate models."
> >
> > But I doubt it. sigh.
> >
> > -gyug
> >
> >
> > In lugnet.general, Suzanne D. Rich writes:
> > > Because they've said it directly to my face. I didn't believe it, not in the
> > > way most folks here see it meaning. I saw a face that wanted (in a fantasy) to
> > > have things back-to-basics, but was having say something else.
> > >
> > > The words spoken to me were the same ones as in the PR.
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Message is in Reply To:
 | | Re: LEGO Company announces poor performance in year 2000
|
| Wow. Thank you for the fantasy. I felt whisked along, as in some psychedelic trippy state. I want to go on that ride again! (I say with wobbly knees, stepping out of the Fun House car) Maybe next time the ride will include: Visions of LEGO DACTA (...) (24 years ago, 4-Mar-01, to lugnet.general)
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