Subject:
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Re: Family values?
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.debate
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Date:
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Thu, 4 Jan 2001 19:58:15 GMT
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Viewed:
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283 times
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In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Bill Farkas writes:
> In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Maggie Cambron writes:
> >
> > Maybe he shouldn't plant the seed if he can't tend the garden. No really,...
>
>
> But isn't this precisely the crux of the matter. This is why sex outside of
> marriage is morally wrong. Because it causes all manner of hurt and
> confusion on so many levels (as illustrated in the article). It is not
> considered wrong because some want to limit the pleasure of others - it's
> wrong because innocent people get hurt, sometimes devastatingly and
> irreparably so.
> If one is not prepared or willing to be responsible for the
> end result of an action - is it right for them to enjoy the pleasures of the
> action. Everyone in this country knows that sex is reproductive - the fact
> that it is pleasurable is an extra added benefit and not the point. Such
> intimacy should be shared by two responsible, mature individuals willing to
> be committed to the life which may result.
Actually Bill, I agree with you to a greater extent than you might imagine.
Which is why I made the flippant (hence the "no, really", meaning, "seriously")
statement in the first place. I agree wholeheartedly that "intimacy should be
shared by two responsible mature individuals willing to be committed to the
life which may result." But I disagree with you on two key points.
First, I don't believe marriage is a necessary prerequisite. As Dave! has
argued (more eloquently than I ever could), marriage is a man-made institution.
If I were to argue for marriage as a prerequisite, it would be in order to
protect the institution and its participants-- that is, to preserve societal
structure and keep women and children in particular from suffering the hardship
of having to go it alone. In this regard, marriage is the only guaranteed
method of protection (disregarding foolproof mehods of birth control and
assuming abortion is not an option, although we know where we stand on that and
I do not think it warrants any further discussion). But I cannot buy the
argument that sex outside marriage is morally wrong (again for reasons similar
to Dave!'s). In fact, I can see where there may be compelling arguments in
favor of sex before marriage. I'm sure many of us would be in a much worse
situation had we married the first person with whom we had become intimate.
And the world would not be a better place for it, since happier citizens are
better parents and more productive members of society. And if you argue that
this wouldn't be a problem if you simply avoided sex before marriage, that may
not be an acceptable option, particularly for those who wait until they are in
their late twenties or later to marry.
Second, although reproduction may be the primary purpose of sex, nature has
given us a sex drive that compels us to have sex much more often than we wish
to procreate in order to ensure conception (which doesn't always occur) and
thus, the propagation of the species. Hence, I believe it is natural to desire
and to have sex, even if reproduction is not a goal. My husband and I have two
children and do not want more. I know you are not arguing that we should stop
having sex!
>
> P.S. Maggie, these remarks are not directed at you per se, I was just using
> your comment as a jumping off point.
Understood.
Maggie C.
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Family values?
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| (...) You're far too kind. It's just that I just get my jollies by trying to sound like I know what I'm talking about! Dave! But in any case, thank you for the nice compliment! (23 years ago, 4-Jan-01, to lugnet.off-topic.fun)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Family values?
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| (...) But isn't this precisely the crux of the matter. This is why sex outside of marriage is morally wrong. Because it causes all manner of hurt and confusion on so many levels (as illustrated in the article). It is not considered wrong because (...) (23 years ago, 4-Jan-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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