Subject:
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Re: Some Weird Action Team turns 4 years old!
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.debate
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Date:
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Wed, 16 Apr 2003 20:21:46 GMT
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Viewed:
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587 times
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David Koudys wrote:
> In lugnet.off-topic.debate, John P. Henderson writes:
> > In lugnet.general, Thomas Stangl writes:
> > > BTW, I'd rather be someone's "major disappointment" with my <sarcasm> SO brutal ways
> > > </sarcasm> and prepare them for life in the Real World, than have some innocent that
> > > thinks the world owes them everything step out in the world and get run over by a
> > > figurative Mack truck. Tough Love, and all, you know. Better a little pain in
> > > preparation for the constant pain of Real Life than taking it all at once when they
> > > leave their obviously sheltered life.
> >
> > I am all for "keeping it real" in the sense that I don't care much for
> > 'sugar coating' things, and I can get annoyed if I feel someone is always
> > 'sugar coating' what they share with me (this happens a lot where I work
> > actually). But at the same time, I disagree with the notion that Real Life
> > is somehow a horrible constant pain (as you imply). In my experience, Real
> > Life can be an amazing, refreshing, and enlightening thing. It can have as
> > many positive things as negative ones. Part of me wonders whether the
> > apparent proliferation of the negative stems from those who have attitudes
> > that Real Life has to be so bad all the time.
> >
> > -Hendo
>
> I make my website for me. If folks don't like it, well, they don't have to
> surf to it.
>
> I also post here in LUGNET--again, in a newsgroup such as this, why get your
> knickers in a knot over what other folks say?
>
> Praise is nice but unnecessary.
Thank you. The above states my position pretty well, except I would add ", nor REQUIRED"
to the last sentence.
> Negative posts are 'background noise' and just comes with the 'public'
> display that we have going on here, and should be taken as such.
Yes and no. Sometimes a negative post will get someone to think about what will happen in
a similar situation in the future.
Take the latest case. Member posts. Member gets no feedback. Member whines about
getting no feedback, mentioning that's why he disappeared last time. Member then gets
some positive feedback from others. This is a Good Thing and a Bad Thing:
Good for him - he gets his ego stroked, which he obviously wants/needs.
Bad for everyone else - he learns that negative behavior (whining/complaining/moaning
about lack of feedback) gets the result he wants.
End result - he knows that in the future he can act negatively to get attention.
> Constructive criticism is always welcome.
OK, then consider my posts constructive criticism about his demand for attention ;-)
I was going to actually give him some CC about his site, including several positive
remarks, but since he killfiled me, there's no point now.
> The world is full of all sorts of different folks--some who just want to
> trash (add them to your ignore list),
<gasp!> Dave! I can't believe YOU said this! ;-)
> some who want "fuzzy warm golly gee"
> feelings wherever they go (cute but gets a little thick)
Which I don't have a problem with. Wanting - no problem. Expecting/demanding - problem.
> and some who just
> speak their minds without being malicious.
Which is really what I did, believe it or not. You wouldn't want to see what I would have
said if I was trying to be malicious (of course, I wouldn't post something that bad on
Lugnet).
> I like supportive folks who are honest, but not malicious or 'biting comments'.
Ah, but 'biting comments' and malicious are entirely different. I had no malicious
intent.
> It's what you learn in 'reducing confrontation' classes--how you 'promote'
> your ideas has a profound effect--
>
> "Well that sucks! You're dumb and you wasted my time!" probably isn't a
> great way of promoting betterment in anybody.
Yet telling them "congratulations, your complaining and whining is what got you feedback"
is a worse way of promoting betterment.
> "Oh, that's an interesting site. Maybe you should think about using
> (whatever) less, and maybe if you look at this example over here, you could
> incorporate that idea..." is a better way of improving things.
Sure, but as I said above, at this point, I see no point in discussing his site, since
he'll be ignoring me.
I really did like his F40 model, though.
> I dunno, I like conflict resolution over biting sarcasm (unless it's in
> o.t-d, in which case no holds barred ;) )
Sarcasm DOES have its' uses.
--
| Tom Stangl, Sun ONE Internet Technical Support, Sun Microsystems
| Sun ONE Support - http://www.sun.com/service/sunone/software/index.html
| Please do not associate my personal views with my employer
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Message is in Reply To:
 | | Re: Some Weird Action Team turns 4 years old!
|
| (...) I make my website for me. If folks don't like it, well, they don't have to surf to it. I also post here in LUGNET--again, in a newsgroup such as this, why get your knickers in a knot over what other folks say? Praise is nice but unnecessary. (...) (22 years ago, 16-Apr-03, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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