Subject:
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Durned Telemarketers!
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.debate
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Date:
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Mon, 26 Aug 2002 13:53:31 GMT
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Viewed:
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353 times
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Like everyone else in the electrically-civilized world, I am plagued by a
nightly torrent of telemarketers plying their various wares. We've signed
up at a state-run no-calls-please website set up here in Pennsylvania to
block calls through some arcane mechanism or other, so most of the calls
should in theory grind to a halt. But for the rest, how about this solution:
We've all seen signs for "no parking" tow-away zones that promise hefty
charges to the vehicle owner. One who parks in such a space enters into an
agreement that, should the car be towed, the owner (or person responsible
for the vehicle) will be subject to the charges. So how's this for a sample
script of my plan to deal with future telemarketers:
TELEMARKETER: Mr Schuler, this is so-and-so from Acme Credit Watch--
ME: Are you on a recorded line?
TM: Yes, but--
ME: Then I have to inform you that if you continue this phone call
you will be subject to a charge of $100,000.00 per minute, and your
continuance of this phone call can only be taken as an acceptance of
the charge. Further, if I receive a future phone call from your company,
that call will be subject to an immedate fee of $200,000.00 upon
connection and an additional fee of $100,000.00 per minute thereafter.
Do you accept these charges?
See? Their continuance of the call can be taken as implicit acceptance of
the charge, even if they're not authorized to act on behalf of the company
(just like a pizza delivery guy in a company car might still find that car
towed and subject to fees if he parks in a tow-away zone). Since they're on
a recorded line we can subsequently subpoena their records to verify
acceptance of the charges! Foolproof!
I figure that if we all undertake this simple step we'll be a lot richer,
and we'll bankrupt the telemarketing industry overnight! And maybe I can
get rid of my student loans in the process...
Dave!
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Message has 7 Replies:
 | | Re: Durned Telemarketers!
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| (...) If this works--sign me up. The next telemarketer is going to get a close rendition of this from me. But is it legal? I mean tow away zones are there 'by law', me saying that the telemarketer's co. is subject to whatever $/min is just me saying (...) (22 years ago, 26-Aug-02, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
| | | Re: Durned Telemarketers!
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| (...) [snip] (...) Sweet! But then shouldn't you remove yourself from no-calls-please thing? Actually, it would be kind of cool to hear the legal reasons why this won't really work. Chris (22 years ago, 26-Aug-02, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
| | | Re: Durned Telemarketers!
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| I prefer the Marquis de Sade technique. Require all telemarketeers be hooked up to an electro-shock machine. Push the star * button on your phone when they call you (always at dinner time). The number of times the telemarketeer has called you (...) (22 years ago, 26-Aug-02, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
| | | Re: Durned Telemarketers!
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| You need to find out if your state has a law with penalties for telemarketers who call you again after you ask to be put on their "do not call" list. Then, diligently keep a log of all telemarketers. Tell each one to put you on that list. You play a (...) (22 years ago, 26-Aug-02, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
| | | Re: Durned Telemarketers!
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| (...) Ok, maybe it's just another instance of how I live some wierd sort of ideal world(1), but I don't suffer from this plague. My wife does get a few during the day; she estimates once or twice a week, but I don't get the "nightly torrent". If we (...) (22 years ago, 27-Aug-02, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
| | | Re: Durned Telemarketers!
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| "Dave Schuler" <orrex@excite.com> wrote in message news:H1GEL7.CMw@lugnet.com... (...) Just change 'the electrically-civilized world' bit to 'America' please. I've lived in Ireland for a few years, and in Holland the rest of my life (30+ years) and (...) (22 years ago, 4-Sep-02, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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