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Subject: 
Re: Durned Telemarketers!
Newsgroups: 
lugnet.off-topic.debate
Date: 
Mon, 26 Aug 2002 16:43:29 GMT
Viewed: 
1274 times
  
In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Dave Schuler writes:
> Like everyone else in the electrically-civilized world, I am plagued by a
> nightly torrent of telemarketers plying their various wares.  We've signed
> up at a state-run no-calls-please website set up here in Pennsylvania to
> block calls through some arcane mechanism or other, so most of the calls
> should in theory grind to a halt.  But for the rest, how about this solution:
> 
> We've all seen signs for "no parking" tow-away zones that promise hefty
> charges to the vehicle owner.  One who parks in such a space enters into an
> agreement that, should the car be towed, the owner (or person responsible
> for the vehicle) will be subject to the charges.  So how's this for a sample
> script of my plan to deal with future telemarketers:
> 
> TELEMARKETER:  Mr Schuler, this is so-and-so from Acme Credit Watch--
> ME:  Are you on a recorded line?
> TM:  Yes, but--
> ME:  Then I have to inform you that if you continue this phone call
>     you will be subject to a charge of $100,000.00 per minute, and your
>     continuance of this phone call can only be taken as an acceptance of
>     the charge.  Further, if I receive a future phone call from your company,
>     that call will be subject to an immedate fee of $200,000.00 upon
>     connection and an additional fee of $100,000.00 per minute thereafter.
>     Do you accept these charges?
> 
> See?  Their continuance of the call can be taken as implicit acceptance of
> the charge, even if they're not authorized to act on behalf of the company
> (just like a pizza delivery guy in a company car might still find that car
> towed and subject to fees if he parks in a tow-away zone).  Since they're on
> a recorded line we can subsequently subpoena their records to verify
> acceptance of the charges!  Foolproof!
> I figure that if we all undertake this simple step we'll be a lot richer,
> and we'll bankrupt the telemarketing industry overnight!  And maybe I can
> get rid of my student loans in the process...
> 
>     Dave!

If this works--sign me up.

The next telemarketer is going to get a close rendition of this from me.

But is it legal?  I mean tow away zones are there 'by law', me saying that
the telemarketer's co. is subject to whatever $/min is just me saying
that--is it legal and/or binding?  It's not even a handshake, there's no
small print...

Can it hold up in the court system?  If I take Acme Charge Co., even with
recorded tapes of me saying the above, to 'Judge Judy', can I have good odds
of a verdict in my favour?

Good one though--almost as good as Seinfeld's answer--'I need time to
consider this--Can I call you at home?... No?  Well now you know how I
feel!' <click>

Dave K



Message is in Reply To:
  Durned Telemarketers!
 
Like everyone else in the electrically-civilized world, I am plagued by a nightly torrent of telemarketers plying their various wares. We've signed up at a state-run no-calls-please website set up here in Pennsylvania to block calls through some (...) (24 years ago, 26-Aug-02, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)

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