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Subject: 
Re: Durned Telemarketers!
Newsgroups: 
lugnet.off-topic.debate
Date: 
Mon, 26 Aug 2002 16:43:29 GMT
Viewed: 
326 times
  
In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Dave Schuler writes:
Like everyone else in the electrically-civilized world, I am plagued by a
nightly torrent of telemarketers plying their various wares.  We've signed
up at a state-run no-calls-please website set up here in Pennsylvania to
block calls through some arcane mechanism or other, so most of the calls
should in theory grind to a halt.  But for the rest, how about this solution:

We've all seen signs for "no parking" tow-away zones that promise hefty
charges to the vehicle owner.  One who parks in such a space enters into an
agreement that, should the car be towed, the owner (or person responsible
for the vehicle) will be subject to the charges.  So how's this for a sample
script of my plan to deal with future telemarketers:

TELEMARKETER:  Mr Schuler, this is so-and-so from Acme Credit Watch--
ME:  Are you on a recorded line?
TM:  Yes, but--
ME:  Then I have to inform you that if you continue this phone call
    you will be subject to a charge of $100,000.00 per minute, and your
    continuance of this phone call can only be taken as an acceptance of
    the charge.  Further, if I receive a future phone call from your company,
    that call will be subject to an immedate fee of $200,000.00 upon
    connection and an additional fee of $100,000.00 per minute thereafter.
    Do you accept these charges?

See?  Their continuance of the call can be taken as implicit acceptance of
the charge, even if they're not authorized to act on behalf of the company
(just like a pizza delivery guy in a company car might still find that car
towed and subject to fees if he parks in a tow-away zone).  Since they're on
a recorded line we can subsequently subpoena their records to verify
acceptance of the charges!  Foolproof!
I figure that if we all undertake this simple step we'll be a lot richer,
and we'll bankrupt the telemarketing industry overnight!  And maybe I can
get rid of my student loans in the process...

    Dave!

If this works--sign me up.

The next telemarketer is going to get a close rendition of this from me.

But is it legal?  I mean tow away zones are there 'by law', me saying that
the telemarketer's co. is subject to whatever $/min is just me saying
that--is it legal and/or binding?  It's not even a handshake, there's no
small print...

Can it hold up in the court system?  If I take Acme Charge Co., even with
recorded tapes of me saying the above, to 'Judge Judy', can I have good odds
of a verdict in my favour?

Good one though--almost as good as Seinfeld's answer--'I need time to
consider this--Can I call you at home?... No?  Well now you know how I
feel!' <click>

Dave K



Message is in Reply To:
  Durned Telemarketers!
 
Like everyone else in the electrically-civilized world, I am plagued by a nightly torrent of telemarketers plying their various wares. We've signed up at a state-run no-calls-please website set up here in Pennsylvania to block calls through some (...) (22 years ago, 26-Aug-02, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)

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