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"Peter White" <aztekium@optusnet.com.au> wrote in message
news:FyA0M0.GK2@lugnet.com...
> In lugnet.loc.au, David Drew writes:
> i wouldn't mind seeing a 5571 'in the wild' (seeing it's assembled)
'In the wild'? Are you crazy? Few people have met a 5571 in the wild, and
survived the experience. It's the largest lego set ever produced, and you
think that you can just walk up to one and pet one? Many people have lost
their lives doing that.
In fact, Lego was only able to obtain the set by first luring the adult
5571's away from their cubs. (Allegedly by using a pit full of young timmys
with broken legs, but Lego isn't exactly going to admit to War Crimes now,
are they?). While they adults were busy with the timmys, Lego swooped in and
stole all their cubs.
They have then raised these cubs in captivity, attempting to domesticate
them, with limited success. The young from these semi-domesticated sets were
then repacked and sold to us innocent consumers. There have been a few
instances of the 5571's breaking loose, and eating whole households, but
these instances have been covered up, with a combination of bribery (No, I'm
not telling you how I got my Universal Pneumatic set), and crack Lego SWAT
teams. (Minifig guns don't kill people, we kill people.) All cubs from that
breeding pair are then destroyed, which explains the extreme rarity of these
sets.
When my 5571 was first assembled, it was quite savage, but I was able to
domesticate it quite well, using a Mindstorm set programmed to generate
pleasure / pain responses to its actions, whilst keeping it in check with a
combination of my 8880, and a 856, with two 8448's standing by ready to
subdue the set if it became vicious.
Even still, I'd make sure that you AFOL's keep watch on your kids when they
are near the set, as it may just find them a bit too tempting to refuse.
Beware of those 5571's which have been implanted with the deadly 8872 motor
set. Such abominations against nature are amongst the most evil of all
system / technic hybrids and have been hunted down by us technic purists,
all over the world. These are most readily identifiable by the large battery
pack, though these are often disguised.
Finding a conspiracy behind every brick,
David Drew.
p.s. Don't ask me to tell you were the Mindstorm sets came from, the aliens
aren't about to let that information get out just yet.
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