Subject:
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Re: The Epic Chronicles of Ikros
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.castle
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Date:
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Fri, 11 Oct 2002 02:21:19 GMT
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Viewed:
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1282 times
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Hey Anthony,
I've been kinda here and kinda not for the better part of the summer, and
even then lurking more than anything. I hadn't taken the time to finish
reading the Chronicles until just a few days ago, and I thought I should post
my criticism.
As a general beginning point, I'd like to say that there are two ways of
viewing this piece, one as a Lego MOC (in that it is the creative collection of
Built Creations, and seen in terms of a MOC) and as a piece of literature
(plot, writing, etc).
As a MOC, the Chronicles of Ikros is a triumph. The voyages of Garalt are a
constructive journey through a variety of lands and meeting a variety of LEGO
creatures. Each place has had it own character, its own style and at the same
time the style of its creator. I think Tel'Karak Zrahl (sp?) should be listed
as one of the great MOC, and when I am introducing my co-workers to the
obsession of Lego, I show them Tel'Karak. And really any criticism I think of
can be explained away by the limitations of the brick itself, not with how you
use it.
As a story the Chronicles is still impresive. The sheer fact that you began
and ended such a large project is impressive. Aside from LEGO epics (which
usually end after chapters one or two), getting any writer to finish a long
project is difficult.
The plot itself is interesting, but at times suffers from its complexity.
The dragon alone would have been enough for an epic this size, but throw in
Ethelred/Zakar's invasion, the Coup attempt, and the Garalt-Alyia subplot as
well as all the other subplots is dizzying. At times I really wondered who the
main character was (mainly between Garalt and Greylen), and at others I was
bombarded by a host of characters who at the moment seem important but haven't
been mentioned for a while. It is almost as if one needs to study the Cast of
Characters before reading, and with a story this long you should have room to
really explore each major character. When it was revealed that Haleron was the
coup leader (a suprise because we were lead to suspect Daravon, a good trick!),
I had to stop and re-read who he was.
The writing is actually kinda nice, but tends to get bogged down at moments.
Sometimes when something really major is happening, it seems time stops
altogether. When Garalt lands on Tel'Karak's face and goes through the moment
of reflection before he acts, I kept expecting him to be shrugged off. What
logically should last a second is stretched out to half the page. When the
action gets turned up, the writing gets turned down, and that interupts the
reader's natural flow. At times I felt like I could read the first sentance
and last sentance of a paragraph and know entirely what happened. You really
have a good voice, don't let it become extraneous. My advice (learned in a
creative writing course) is read through and cross out everything that doesn't
ABSOLUTELY have to be there to convey meaning, and it will help trim up your
story.
This is just a little something that bothered me, but your use of the word
"whelp" in reference to Garalt. Tel'Karak and Kullvox both called him that
CONSTANTLY, like in every piece of dialogue. You've gotta have a synonym for
that, or even, does it need to be there?
As I'm sure you're aware, don't take any of my criticisms as disrespect. I
believe without criticism, we have no way to improve.
_lenny
> The Chronicles of Ikros
>
> Chapter 36: Strings of the Puppeteer
> Chapter 37: Something to Lose
> Chapter 38: Sins Revealed
> Chapter 39: War's End
> Chapter 40: The Final Siege
> and the Epliogue
>
> But more importanlty:
>
> I present to you the Chronicles of Ikros, in it's entirety. All fourty, fully
> illustrated chapters are online and ready for public viewing.
>
> I hope you all enjoy my work, it's been a fun trip. I hope you all enjoy how
> the story comes to a close.
>
> And of course, PLMKWYT!
>
> http://www.ozbricks.com/ikros
>
> --Anthony
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: The Epic Chronicles of Ikros
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| (...) Agreed! (...) Again Agreed! (...) This is the real accomplishment lego wise. (...) I personally hate a book with only one layer. Read any classic work and you will find several plots and strands overlaid. Granted this takes skill, but I am (...) (22 years ago, 17-Oct-02, to lugnet.castle)
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