Subject:
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Re: (Movie) Mission to Mars
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.space
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Date:
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Thu, 23 Mar 2000 21:29:32 GMT
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Viewed:
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1821 times
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In lugnet.space, Jeremy H. Sproat writes:
> At first I wanted to see this. Then, after reading review after review, I
> decided not to.
> And then, after reading about it in this group, I think Barbara and I will see
> it. Heck, we laughed all the way through _Lost World_, and rolled on the • floor
> with painful spasms of chuckle-induced fever through _Armageddon_, so we'll
> probably get a kick out of this one.
Well, we saw it. Wait while I sharpen my knives...
*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* *SPOIL---aw, forget it.
Spoilers would've saved me from seeing this movie.
It wasn't worth seeing it on the big screen -- the graphics were definitely
sub-par when compared with recent movies. :-( Not to mention that the wet
cardboard characterizations lacked the depth normally seen in typical
blockbuster-wannabe sci-fi movies.
The preaching at the end of the movie would've been excruciatingly dull if it
weren't for the fact that everyone in the theatre was already conversing with a
neighbor by that time. I didn't enjoy the movie talking down to me like I was
a 3-year-old. At least Kubrick made us *think* after _2001_.
I confess I generally liked the hardware, except for the EVA packs. Inability
to thrust along the body's center of mass might've been the least of their
worries, though, when compared to the absolutely bone-headed decisions they
made. That, and the fact that the alien electromagnetic pulse knocked out all
the critical systems except for the VCR. And man oh man, that greenhouse tent
-- who needs a pressure dome when you can use *canvas*?!? And they must've
been packing the super-duper ultraphotosynthesizing seedlings on the trip,
'cause there couldn't've been more than a hundred office plants to sustain
Earth-level oxygen levels (with minimal sunlight) for a full-grown adult.
But the biggest issue I had was the infamous EVA rescue scene. I mean, well,
duh. :-P ;-) How long had these astronauts taken physics notes from the
movie _Armageddon_, compared to the length of time they spent listening to the
physics lectures in school? (Though I gotta admit, this movie made college
physics lectures look exciting, and at least the turtle-paced _Armageddon_ had
nukes that exploded into gasoline-orange fireballs.) And *if* you ignore the
bad science in this scene, you can't ignore how gibberingly *stupid* the
astronut was by forgetting to thread the line through the loop in his suit
before jumping towards the sattelite. He deserved to die. At least we saw it
resulting in a dessicated mummy, instead of the typical Hollywood
eyes-bugging-out-before-the-big-blood-boiling-KABLOOIE.
Besides, ripping his helmet off while free-floating in Mars orbit saved him
from the fate of a year-long return trip without food or water. Or maybe he
just wanted a quick exit from his wife. I couldn't blame him for that.
Personally, I would've preferred the exit by that guy in the end of _Dark Star_
-- body-surfing into an atmosphere listening to country music. Or heck, even
that forgettable Van Halen throw-away single they played on the ship.
Oh and the soundtrack! A big-budget movie, and they paid all of, what, $37.95
for the music?!? Chop off my ears so I'll never hear such garage-midi drivel
again! I've seen shows cancelled from UPN with better music. Where's John
Williams when you need him?
All in all, an utterly and completely wasted 2 hours. It wasn't even worth the
popcorn I threw at the screen.
Cheers,
- jsproat
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: (Movie) Mission to Mars
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| (...) That reminds me... :) A few years back, there was this really cheesy (IMHO) sci-fi movie called _Time Runner_ -- starred Mark Hamill and Rae Dawn Chong. Didn't catch it in the theatre, but the viddy box had this to say: "A cut above most time (...) (25 years ago, 23-Mar-00, to lugnet.space, lugnet.off-topic.fun)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: (Movie) Mission to Mars
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| At first I wanted to see this. Then, after reading review after review, I decided not to. And then, after reading about it in this group, I think Barbara and I will see it. Heck, we laughed all the way through _Lost World_, and rolled on the floor (...) (25 years ago, 13-Mar-00, to lugnet.space)
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