Subject:
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Return of The King (was Re: Two Towers (was Re: Fellowship))
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.fun
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Date:
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Wed, 17 Dec 2003 19:56:16 GMT
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Viewed:
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1336 times
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I happened to catch an early preview of the film, and here a few spoilers for
people who just can't wait to see it:
10. The events of the film take place in “real time”
9. “Narsil” turns out to have been the name of Aragorn’s
sled when he was a boy
8. The fight scene in which Elrond makes a zillion copies
of himself is way too long
7. No explanation for the curious absence of the Keebler
Elves from the final battle
6. Ookla the Mok totally kicks butt during the sacking of Osgiliath
5. It’s heartbreaking to watch Steven Tyler lament his daugher’s
love for Aragorn
4. Cyndi Lauper’s hit “She-Lob” features prominently in the film’s soundtrack
3. Sauron is shaved & de-loused on-camera after being dragged from
his “spider hole”
2. In a goofy scene, Aragorn woos Eowyn by noting that her skin is soft,
unlike sand
1. Frodo’s best line: “Well, there’s nine more where that came from.”
In lugnet.off-topic.fun, Dave Schuler wrote:
> Sorry to be the one to spill the beans:
>
> Top Ten Spoilers for the forthcoming "The Two Towers"
> 10. If you’re hungry while on the Yellow Brick Road, Ents can be provoked
> into throwing their apples at you
> 9. "Wormtongue" earned his name during an embarrassing fraternity incident
> 8. Saruman gets his butt kicked by Yoda
> 7. John Rhys-Davies will accept absolutely any voice-over work that’s
> offered to him
> 6. Pipeweed was recently legalized in Canada, eh?
> 5. Samwise Gamgee keeps at it until the Notre Dame football coach lets
> him on the team
> 4. Mordor was a thriving nature preserve prior to the Bush Domestic
> Energy Policy
> 3. Climactic scene involves Frodo’s mom deciding whether to let him or
> Macaulay Culkin fall to his death
> 2. If you wear The Ring, you will die seven days later
> 1. "Orthanc" is an anagram of "Corn Hat." Coincidence?
>
> In lugnet.off-topic.fun, Dave Schuler writes:
> > A few spoilers:
> >
> > 1. Fellowship is the first part of a trilogy
> > 2. There will be two more movies in the trilogy
> > 3. Gandalf looks suspiciously like Magneto
> > 4. Elijah Wood is four feet tall in real life
> > 5. Samwise is *not* voiced by Roddy MacDowell
> > 6. This rotoscope animation just keeps getting better and better
> > 7. The guy behind me chews popcorn with his mouth open
> > 8. I don't care what you say--"Buckleberry Ferry" is a goofy name
> > 9. Aerosmith's daughter has a bigger role than Alicia Silverstone
> > 10. No orcs were harmed during the filming of Fellowship
> > 11. This film is thematically very similar to Peter Jackson's
> > previous film "Heavenly Creatures."
> > 12. Gollum makes a brief appearance in a Led Zeppelin song
> > 13. We've been pronouncing "golem" wrong all these years--
> > it should actually almost rhyme with "stolen"
> > 14. We never learn what happened to the other four golden rings given
> > to Frodo by his true love on the Fifth Day of Christmas
> > 15. If you start Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" during the
> > opening credits, you'll notice some eerie coincidences
> > 16. We never get to see Tonto, Strider's trusty sidekick
> > 17. In the lower right part of the screen during the Council of Elrond,
> > you'll spot a delegation of ET's
> > 18. The CGI creatures in Fellowship are considerably less awful
> > than that awful CupCup Binks
> > 19. No sign whatsoever of Teela, Man-At-Arms, or Ram-Man
> > 20. John Cleese has a brief cameo as Nearly-Decapitated-Nigel
> > 21. A Wizard's Staff has a Knob on the End
> > 22. "Bard" is a dumb name for a fighter
> > 23. Elrond Hubbard started a wacko, pseudoscientific cult
> > 24. The whole thing is obviously plagiarized from Terry Brooks
> > 25. Still no word on the live-action "Chronicles of Narnia"
> >
> > Hopefully these little insights won't ruin it for anyone who hasn't already
> > seen or read it. I have far too many friends who are pedantic Tolkien fans, so
> > I'm already braced for endless bouts of "Gandalf's beard should be three feet
> > long. No, his beard should be two feet long." I expect I will enjoy the film
> > immensely!
> >
> > Dave!
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Message has 1 Reply:
Message is in Reply To:
 | | Re: Two Towers (was Re: Fellowship)
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| Sorry to be the one to spill the beans: Top Ten Spoilers for the forthcoming "The Two Towers" 10. If you’re hungry while on the Yellow Brick Road, Ents can be provoked into throwing their apples at you 9. "Wormtongue" earned his name during an (...) (22 years ago, 16-Dec-02, to lugnet.off-topic.fun)
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