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Subject: 
Re: Two Towers (was Re: Fellowship)
Newsgroups: 
lugnet.off-topic.fun
Date: 
Mon, 16 Dec 2002 04:46:49 GMT
Viewed: 
1251 times
  
Sorry to be the one to spill the beans:

Top Ten Spoilers for the forthcoming "The Two Towers"
10. If you’re hungry while on the Yellow Brick Road, Ents can be provoked
       into throwing their apples at you
9. "Wormtongue" earned his name during an embarrassing fraternity incident
8. Saruman gets his butt kicked by Yoda
7. John Rhys-Davies will accept absolutely any voice-over work that’s
       offered to him
6. Pipeweed was recently legalized in Canada, eh?
5. Samwise Gamgee keeps at it until the Notre Dame football coach lets
       him on the team
4. Mordor was a thriving nature preserve prior to the Bush Domestic
       Energy Policy
3. Climactic scene involves Frodo’s mom deciding whether to let him or
       Macaulay Culkin fall to his death
2. If you wear The Ring, you will die seven days later
1. "Orthanc" is an anagram of "Corn Hat."  Coincidence?

In lugnet.off-topic.fun, Dave Schuler writes:
A few spoilers:

1. Fellowship is the first part of a trilogy
2. There will be two more movies in the trilogy
3. Gandalf looks suspiciously like Magneto
4. Elijah Wood is four feet tall in real life
5. Samwise is *not* voiced by Roddy MacDowell
6. This rotoscope animation just keeps getting better and better
7. The guy behind me chews popcorn with his mouth open
8. I don't care what you say--"Buckleberry Ferry" is a goofy name
9. Aerosmith's daughter has a bigger role than Alicia Silverstone
10. No orcs were harmed during the filming of Fellowship
11. This film is thematically very similar to Peter Jackson's
   previous film "Heavenly Creatures."
12. Gollum makes a brief appearance in a Led Zeppelin song
13. We've been pronouncing "golem" wrong all these years--
   it should actually almost rhyme with "stolen"
14. We never learn what happened to the other four golden rings given
   to Frodo by his true love on the Fifth Day of Christmas
15. If you start Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" during the
   opening credits, you'll notice some eerie coincidences
16. We never get to see Tonto, Strider's trusty sidekick
17. In the lower right part of the screen during the Council of Elrond,
   you'll spot a delegation of ET's
18. The CGI creatures in Fellowship are considerably less awful
   than that awful CupCup Binks
19. No sign whatsoever of Teela, Man-At-Arms, or Ram-Man
20. John Cleese has a brief cameo as Nearly-Decapitated-Nigel
21. A Wizard's Staff has a Knob on the End
22. "Bard" is a dumb name for a fighter
23. Elrond Hubbard started a wacko, pseudoscientific cult
24. The whole thing is obviously plagiarized from Terry Brooks
25. Still no word on the live-action "Chronicles of Narnia"

Hopefully these little insights won't ruin it for anyone who hasn't already
seen or read it.  I have far too many friends who are pedantic Tolkien fans, so
I'm already braced for endless bouts of "Gandalf's beard should be three feet
long.  No, his beard should be two feet long."  I expect I will enjoy the film
immensely!

    Dave!



Message has 2 Replies:
  Re: Two Towers (was Re: Fellowship)
 
(...) Road apples - you may wish to eat 'em, but I'll give 'em a pass. (...) You know that tequila with the the disgusting pest in it? (...) Nonsense - there wouldn't be Jedi without Saruman, who was playing Jedi Mind Tricks long before that young (...) (22 years ago, 16-Dec-02, to lugnet.off-topic.fun)
  Return of The King (was Re: Two Towers (was Re: Fellowship))
 
I happened to catch an early preview of the film, and here a few spoilers for people who just can't wait to see it: 10. The events of the film take place in “real time” 9. “Narsil” turns out to have been the name of Aragorn’s sled when he was a boy (...) (21 years ago, 17-Dec-03, to lugnet.off-topic.fun)

Message is in Reply To:
  Fellowship
 
A few spoilers: 1. Fellowship is the first part of a trilogy 2. There will be two more movies in the trilogy 3. Gandalf looks suspiciously like Magneto 4. Elijah Wood is four feet tall in real life 5. Samwise is *not* voiced by Roddy MacDowell 6. (...) (23 years ago, 20-Dec-01, to lugnet.off-topic.fun)  

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