Subject:
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Re: Two Towers (was Re: Fellowship)
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.fun
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Date:
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Mon, 16 Dec 2002 06:15:24 GMT
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Viewed:
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1239 times
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In lugnet.off-topic.fun, Dave Schuler writes:
> Sorry to be the one to spill the beans:
>
> Top Ten Spoilers for the forthcoming "The Two Towers"
> 10. If you’re hungry while on the Yellow Brick Road, Ents can be provoked
> into throwing their apples at you
Road apples - you may wish to eat 'em, but I'll give 'em a pass.
> 9. "Wormtongue" earned his name during an embarrassing fraternity incident
You know that tequila with the the disgusting pest in it?
> 8. Saruman gets his butt kicked by Yoda
Nonsense - there wouldn't be Jedi without Saruman, who was playing Jedi Mind
Tricks long before that young whippersnapper, Yoda.
> 7. John Rhys-Davies will accept absolutely any voice-over work that’s
> offered to him
Any part, period.
> 6. Pipeweed was recently legalized in Canada, eh?
California. But for medicinal purposes only.
> 5. Samwise Gamgee keeps at it until the Notre Dame football coach lets
> him on the team
Actually, this is a spolier for The Return of the King: Samwise follows
Frodo to the coast, discovers a pirate map, and searches for the lost ship
of One-Eyed Willy (my best friend, Willy - see Wizard's staff having a knob,
below), but yes, he does end up sacking Joe Montana.
> 4. Mordor was a thriving nature preserve prior to the Bush Domestic
> Energy Policy
Mordo, Discorporated, transmogrifies into Enron.
> 3. Climactic scene involves Frodo’s mom deciding whether to let him or
> Macaulay Culkin fall to his death
This was left on the cutting room floor - let me give you a hint about the
real climactic scene: Frodo wishes that the scene where Galadriel gives him
a giant can of Raid wasn't sitting beside the seen you just mentioned.
> 2. If you wear The Ring, you will die seven days later
More likely it leaves a green stain around your finger.
> 1. "Orthanc" is an anagram of "Corn Hat." Coincidence?
But even more ominous Orthanc spelled backwards is Cnahtro!
>
> In lugnet.off-topic.fun, Dave Schuler writes:
> > A few spoilers:
> > 7. The guy behind me chews popcorn with his mouth open
Oh, was that you in front of me?
> > 12. Gollum makes a brief appearance in a Led Zeppelin song
But Gollum, and the Evil One, crept up and slipped away with her.
> > 21. A Wizard's Staff has a Knob on the End
Absolutely no comment. ;-)
> > 23. Elrond Hubbard started a wacko, pseudoscientific cult
Pseudo-religious cult. Pseudo-scientific cults don't get a tax break.
> > 24. The whole thing is obviously plagiarized from Terry Brooks
Character for character, scene for scene. That Tolkien fellow doesn't show
his face for a reason!
> > Hopefully these little insights won't ruin it for anyone who hasn't already
> > seen or read it. I have far too many friends who are pedantic Tolkien fans, so
> > I'm already braced for endless bouts of "Gandalf's beard should be three feet
> > long. No, his beard should be two feet long." I expect I will enjoy the film
> > immensely!
I was humiliated by my friend many years ago, when watching the Ralph Bakshi
animated Lord of the Rings. He stood up in the middle of the theater and
shouted, "Gimli's not bald!"
I humiliated him right back by saying, "Quote me the book and page where it
says he isn't!"
-->Bruce<--
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Two Towers (was Re: Fellowship)
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| (...) That's pretty funny, in a tragic sort of way. Not quite as long ago, back in June of 1989, I saw Tim Burton's over-hyped "Batman" with a girl named, delightfully enough, Robin. After we'd taken our seats, but before the film had begun, I went (...) (22 years ago, 16-Dec-02, to lugnet.off-topic.fun)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Two Towers (was Re: Fellowship)
|
| Sorry to be the one to spill the beans: Top Ten Spoilers for the forthcoming "The Two Towers" 10. If you’re hungry while on the Yellow Brick Road, Ents can be provoked into throwing their apples at you 9. "Wormtongue" earned his name during an (...) (22 years ago, 16-Dec-02, to lugnet.off-topic.fun)
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