Subject:
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Re: Children and Violence
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.debate
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Date:
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Sun, 30 Sep 2001 18:35:32 GMT
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Viewed:
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242 times
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In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Christopher L. Weeks writes:
> In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Richard Marchetti writes:
> > In the discussion surrounding the recall of the Alpha Team Ogel set, there
> > has been an undercurrent conversation about what is good and acceptable
> > entertainment for children. At the heart of that conversation are the
> > laudable goals of creating happy, well-adjusted children. I just wonder if
> > a highly controlled environment is the way to best achieve that goal.
> I don't think that it is. The more controls in place on children, the less
> practice they have at operating without controls.
And the less control they feel they have over their own environment.
> > Somehow they developed a need to act out inappropriately -- and I
> > happen to equate that problem with not having learned appropriate
> > expressions of anger, and violence (yes, there are appropriate expressions
> > of violence).
>
> I agree. The mere fact that people have violent impulses defines this as
> appropriate. We just need to know how to get it out of our system
> productively. I'd guess that our innate violence is a hold-over from a less
> civilized time...like yesterday.
Violence may be the expression of a pent up desire to control one's
environment. It seems those most likely to commit egregious acts of violence
are those who have been made to feel impotent by a force they perceive to be
much greater than themselves.
> > When we take away the normal expression of high spirits we allow people to
> > become bottled up and thereby marginalize their feelings and behavior.
>
> Yup. My son attended two Montessori schools for ~3 years and entered public
> school this year. I have noticed a strong difference in the amount of
> agression that he expresses on his off time. The difference that I think is
> most important is that at those other schools actively discouraged a whole
> class of play that they thought was overly "violent." Some refer to this as
> the feminization of America. I'm not sure that's fair, but they have some
> interesting things to say.
It may not be fair to call it feminization and I would be one of the last to
want to admit it, but I think there is some truth to it. I grew up in a
household consisting of four females and one male (the male-- my father-- was
somewhat peripheral since he spent most of the day at work). Now as the only
female in a household with a husband and two sons, I still find it hard to deal
with the overall level of rambunctiousness-- WAY more than I was ever exposed
to. But to my husband, who grew up with two brothers, the atmosphere seems
perfectly normal. At the risk of sparking controversy I DO think violence is
more a male than female tendency. Perhaps the desire to impose form on the
world and the resulting violence that may accompany expression of this desire
really is a character trait that comes along with the male chromosome.
> If you're in the market to have small children around, you find how much
> safety is emphasized. I think this is a related trend since it's a control on
> the environment. When I grew up, I had the freedom to shove a screwdriver
> into an electrical outlet and get killed. Since I had the ability to die, I
> learned that some things were serious. Now, everyone has plastic plugs in
> place to make that impossible. And those are only the most innocuous start to
> the safety movement. But I think we need risk just like we need freedom when
> we're young.
Perhaps, but I'm not ready to take away the plastic outlet covers. Risk of
electrocution is NOT something children need to be exposed to in order to build
a sense of autonomy (nor is risk of injury in car accidents because they are
not in proper car seats). And in these cases we created the risks of
electricity and automobiles, so I think we have the responsibility to offer our
children protection from them. Also, in the past people had a lot more
children than they do today, and the odds of making it to adulthood were
substantially lower-- in this area I think we have progressed.
As for the Ogel Control Center set, the only reason my kids don't have it is
because it is a $50 set and there was other LEGO they wanted more. There have
been threads in the past arguing whether LEGO weapons or violent themes were
appropriate. Children need to be given the props they need to practice dealing
with situations and conflicts they may face in their real lives. Therefore,
while I am against video games that graphically depict violent acts,
particularly when they are without consequences, I do think it is
counterproductive to shelter kids from the tools they need to develop skills
they need to cope with the world or to simply provide an outlet for impulses
they may have.
I have been reading the Harry Potter books to my kids at bedtime. We just read
a scene in which Harry has the opportunity to kill someone he perceives to be
the murderer of his parents. Harry takes the time to labor over what to do and
ultimately decides against killing him, even though his decision puts both
Harry and his friends in immediate danger. Without opportunities to think
through possibilities such as these, both in play and in literature, children
are deprived of a valuable opportunity to develop fully as individuals capable
of thinking and making decisions for themselves.
Maggie C.
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Children and Violence
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| (...) For the record, I used outlet covers when my son was little and I imagine that I'll use them with the next one (due in only ten weeks!). And we have very high quality car seats -- the best that were available when we did our research, and (...) (23 years ago, 30-Sep-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Children and Violence
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| (...) I don't think that it is. The more controls in place on children, the less practice they have at operating without controls. (...) I agree with him (though probably go farther). When I get into these discussions, a few of which have been here, (...) (23 years ago, 30-Sep-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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