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Subject: 
Re: Epic of the Beyhadur: Completion
Newsgroups: 
lugnet.castle
Date: 
Thu, 20 Feb 2003 19:06:25 GMT
Viewed: 
454 times
  
Lenny,

I finally got to finish reading the Beyhadur Epic.  It was marvellously
done!  There was an excellent tone to the writing; it really captured the
feel of an ancient historical/religious text.

I also have to say I really liked the battle sequences.  The melee in the
street looked like a terribly confused melee.  Much different than the Olman
warriors charging down the hill to ambush the Lonsons.

My only real bit of criticism, which is relatively minor, is the placement
of the text.  I tended to read top to bottom, so I would often read the word
balloons in the picture before the text block at the bottom which was
intended to precede it.  When a text block ended in an ellipsis, I always
expected it to lead into the next frame, rather than refer back to the
picture above.

But, that aside, i really did enjoy the story.  I look forward to your next
venture.

--William
The Kingdom of Gatimrja
http://home.earthlink.net/~ynpw/index.html



Message is in Reply To:
  Epic of the Beyhadur: Completion
 
despite some minor typos here and there.. here it is: (URL) the recent additions of the The Rising 2nd Half (parts 4,5,6) and the epilogue The Khan. thoughts are welcome, but ignorance is not. -lenny (21 years ago, 16-Feb-03, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.announce.moc, lugnet.general, lugnet.build)  

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