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Subject: 
On the recursive subdivision of two-dimensional food items
Newsgroups: 
lugnet.off-topic.geek, lugnet.events.brickfest
Followup-To: 
lugnet.off-topic.geek
Date: 
Mon, 16 Aug 2004 06:13:12 GMT
Viewed: 
1913 times
  
Last night at IHOP, after copious amounts of beer at Rocklands, a few of us were talking about how we cut our food up into differently-sized portions during the eating process, and I realized that an algorithm exists for maximizing the total enjoyment of a given serving of food...

Here’s what you do: Instead of just woofing your way linearly through a stack of pancakes or french toast -- and constantly being aware of exactly how much you have left to go, and being sad near the end -- what you do is use recursive subdivision and eat the resulting pieces in a specific order.

Let e (epsilon) be the smallest bite size you are willing to eat, and consider the following pseudocode:

    Procedure Savor (Piece A)
        If the size of A is less than 2e
            Eat A.
        Else
            Subdivide A into two equal portions B and C.
            Hide B from yourself (the edge of the plate is fine).
            Savor C.
            Savor B.
        End If
    End Procedure

I was so excited about this! and here’s why: First, every time you return from procedure Savor and pop stack, you get a whole new piece of food that you didn’t know you had (because you hid it from yourself)! Second, that new piece of food is at least twice the size of the piece you just ate! So at every step, not only are you surprised by how much you have left, but you also begin to feel like you have a nearly infinite supply of food! Third, only at the very last step do you pop stack to nothingness (a sad event indeed); however, at the point this happens, you’ll’ve just eaten a very, very small piece (as opposed to a large piece), making the transition to nothingness relatively painless and Zen-like.

I tested the algorithm out on the second half of six half-pieces of French toast. I never had French toast from IHOP that tasted so good.

Note that this algorithm doesn’t apply well to liquids in bottles or glasses because subdividing a body of liquid is not only time consuming but messy. This algorithm lends itself well to two-dimensional food items cut with the side of a fork because you are making cuts there anyway.

--Todd

xfut => lugnet.off-topic.geek



Message has 7 Replies:
  Re: On the recursive subdivision of two-dimensional food items
 
(...) Get some sleep! :-) -->Bruce<-- (now I'm going to have make French Toast in the morning...) (20 years ago, 16-Aug-04, to lugnet.off-topic.geek, FTX)
  Re: On the recursive subdivision of two-dimensional food items
 
In lugnet.off-topic.geek, Todd Lehman wrote: <snip> (...) <more snip> (...) It may be sound in theory, but I think you need to recheck your math a bit... (20 years ago, 16-Aug-04, to lugnet.off-topic.geek, FTX)
  Re: On the recursive subdivision of two-dimensional food items
 
On 02:13 16-08-04, Todd Lehman wrote (...) <MUCH GEEKAGE SNIPPED> (...) Me thinks someone was over thinking this a bit too much.... excellent geek analysis... Note that this algorithm doesn't apply well to liquids in bottles or (20 years ago, 16-Aug-04, to lugnet.off-topic.geek)
  Re: On the recursive subdivision of two-dimensional food items
 
(...) I feel privaleged to be present when this important algorithm was created. But, I am not so sure that Todd's very important contribution into the consumption of food and to the further appreciation of the culinary delights is really as limited (...) (20 years ago, 16-Aug-04, to lugnet.off-topic.geek, FTX)
  Re: On the recursive subdivision of two-dimensional food items
 
In lugnet.off-topic.geek, Todd Lehman wrote: snip (...) And what makes this even more impressive is that earlier in the evening, Todd gave every impression of a man so tired he couldn't hit the ground two tries out of three (although I know a (URL) (...) (20 years ago, 16-Aug-04, to lugnet.off-topic.geek, FTX)
  Re: On the recursive subdivision of two-dimensional food items
 
(...) snipped You know, I think I may take this as proof that I am missing the GEEK gene, as I heard the discussion first hand, and now I'm reading it again..... and STILL the *ONLY* part I understand is "copious amount of liquor." On a side note, (...) (20 years ago, 18-Aug-04, to lugnet.off-topic.geek)
  Re: On the recursive subdivision of two-dimensional food items
 
(...) Recursively speaking. I saved this reply so I could enjoy it all over again. See, by ignoring this post, thus savoring the experience, I held off in replying so I could cherish the moment. Until I was ready to pop-stack. THEN, I look over and (...) (20 years ago, 23-Aug-04, to lugnet.off-topic.geek)

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