Subject:
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Re: The wife problem
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.loc.uk
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Date:
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Mon, 13 Dec 1999 21:25:24 GMT
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Viewed:
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368 times
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I also find that a carefully (mis)balanced barter systems works passably
well. For example, when we are in a shopping mall, for every twenty mintues
we spend at stores of her choosing, I get five in one of my own. The same
can be applied to LEGO: for every 20 minutes of [snuggling, wall-painting,
envelope licking, fill in the blank with appropriately demeaning task ;)], I
earn 5 minutes of "playtime". PLEASE NOTE: due to genetic predisposition,
the odds are always stacked against the male gender.
Well, it makes it patently hard for her to complain!
grinning at it all,
shaun
Ian Bishop wrote:
> Scott's amusing post prompted me to start this as a new thread;
>
> Basic deception
>
> Keep the new stuff in the boot of the car (or some other place she
> doesn't look, eg the garage, shed etc) until she's out - difficult if
> you buy stuff while out shopping with her though. Be careful she doesn't
> go in the boot before you've had a chance to move the stuff indoors
> though or you're in double trouble (buying the stuff in the first place,
> then not declaring it).
>
> Economy
>
> Be economical with the truth about how much that Club-Car actually cost
> you. Unless she reads your mail she'll be none the wiser, and it looks
> just like any other small set. If you keep set numbers out of the
> dialogue she won't be able to cross-refer either - pinning you down
> would take real commitment on her part. Difficult with big sets though.
>
> The 'feel good factor'
>
> When you hold an auction, be sure to show her the cheques and notes as
> they drop through the door. 'Look dear - this means that the lego I buy
> costs nothing'. Takes patience, but keep at it. You never know, it might
> work.
>
> The guilt trap
>
> Many a criminal has succumbed to guilt and actually confessed all.
> Temper the guilt by reminding yourself of all the things she buys with
> *your* money that you wouldn't otherwise buy - women's magazines, stuff
> for the house (that you don't like anyway). Less effective if she earns
> too though.
>
> The excitement trap
>
> When that Metroliner turns up you are so excited you just have to tell
> someone. Just ensure that it's not the wife. Especially difficult if she
> is the first person you meet. Keeping in mind the consequences will help
> (the sulking, the spare bed, withholding of privileges ;) etc
>
> The teetotal card
>
> If you don't drink or smoke you have the ideal excuse to spend a fortune
> on lego. Consider giving up either or both and trade one addiction for
> another. Ineffective if you drink or smoke, unless you resort to
> deception about this too, in which case refer to basic deception above.
>
> The sweetener
>
> Ahh that timeless classic - just buy her flowers or chocolates prior to
> the arrival of that parcel or the purchase of a new set. Very difficult
> when you see something second-hand lego in the paper. Looks too obvious
> when you return with lego *and* chocolates.
>
> The comparison
>
> Justify the cost by comparing the minimal cost of your lego hobby with
> that of other more expensive hobbies. Only works within limits.
>
> Disclaimer in the interests of political correctness; I am only joking!
> Honest dear.
>
> <Set female flame protection shields to full>
>
> Ian Bishop, Ayrshire, UK
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Message is in Reply To:
 | | The wife problem
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| Scott's amusing post prompted me to start this as a new thread; Basic deception Keep the new stuff in the boot of the car (or some other place she doesn't look, eg the garage, shed etc) until she's out - difficult if you buy stuff while out (...) (25 years ago, 13-Dec-99, to lugnet.loc.uk)
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