Subject:
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Re: Erik leaves home
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.castle
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Date:
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Tue, 15 Feb 2000 02:26:53 GMT
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Viewed:
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762 times
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Shiri Dori wrote:
>
> In lugnet.castle, Jason Catena writes:
> > In lugnet.castle, Bill Farkas writes:
> > > My only criticism is all the name dropping without expounding on who or
> > > what exactly is being talked about. I think there were two or three times
> > > where you mentioned a person or place without clarifying who/what they are.
> > > Minor point, please don't be offended.
> >
> > I've found that I have the same problem when writing up one small facet of a
> > detailed backstory. If I put in enough detail to make the references and
> > interrelationships clear, I drift too far away from the immediate purpose of
> > the writing (the facet I'm explaining). If I only use references, to keep the
> > story to the point, it's more confusing because people aren't as familiar with
> > the backstory as I am.
>
> I know what you mean. I have the same problem with my stuff.
>
> The way I handled it is, explain in a line or two who the person is. Later on,
> (if you're doing a storyline), write a chapter in the past, or perhaps a short
> monologue by one character that will explain past relationships.
Maybe I'm just used to this sort of thing, but I had absolutely no problem with
understanding the first short vignette about Erik. Sure, there were people
and
places that weren't explicitly described, but from context I think the nuances
were clear enough - and I certainly *don't* expect the author to explain
everything in the first page or two!
I agree that stopping to explain all of this stuff would *seriously* disrupt
the flow of the story, and I think that James did exactly the right thing here
- he left them as 'empty places' for our mind to fill in when we get more
information.
Anyway, here's what I was able to figure out, and maybe James can tell me
how good my guesses are...
There's a very Norse feel to this (although I for some reason caught a whiff
of Celtic about it as well - maybe because the name of the country reminds me
of the Irish kingdom of Ulster)
Benjar and Andralf, from context, are his elder brothers, and Cera is a
female relative of some kind, probably a married older sister. (I think
she's a female because it mentions her children inheriting but no suggestion
that she might.)
The Grey King is pretty obviously Erik's father (or, rather, the title of
his father) since it talks about the several people in between himself and
the throne. He's probably the youngest son, since that's the traditional
one that sets out for adventure.
Ustral is the name of the kingdom he's from, and Warris is apparently the
name of his father the King. That's the only real problem I have with the
writing - it refers to the King and Warris just a few words apart and
causes some confusion that way.
Kasjyr would be their version of Valhalla, a place where brave warriors go
when they die. ('beyond the final gates' definitely sounds like a metaphor
for death to me.)
No, I take that back. There's a temple of Kasjyr, on Ile Harko, the Place
of Priests, so he is probably either their head god or their war-god.
Lifcaul is the name of the particular village he's from.
Um, anyway, so I didn't have much problem with it at all. I thought it was
pretty great, the way he gave us so much information in such a short space
of time.
James - your first attempt at writing fiction? Really? I'm very impressed!
I really think you ought to continue in this vein (only with pictures of all
this stuff added!)
J
--
sakura@mediaone.net is Jeff Johnston http://www.io.com/~jeffj
My LEGO Web page has moved! Go to: http://people.ne.mediaone.net/sakura
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Message has 2 Replies:
 | | Re: Erik leaves home
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| (...) Oh, I didn't mean that! I got the context quite clearly, I was just sympathizing with Jason who said he has a problem like that - and offering my own solution. *I* like the story that way, more "scope for imagination", not to mention mystery (...) (24 years ago, 15-Feb-00, to lugnet.castle)
| | | Re: Erik leaves home
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| (...) eight from eight for the redoubtable Mr Johnston. (...) Actually I was after simply oceaney/islandy but since I'd named Erik before writing the story (my middle name is Eric and since it was handy) sort of after Erik the Red the scandahoovian (...) (24 years ago, 15-Feb-00, to lugnet.castle)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Erik leaves home
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| (...) I know what you mean. I have the same problem with my stuff. The way I handled it is, explain in a line or two who the person is. Later on, (if you're doing a storyline), write a chapter in the past, or perhaps a short monologue by one (...) (24 years ago, 15-Feb-00, to lugnet.castle)
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