Subject:
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Re: Keeping things in perspective
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.debate
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Date:
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Tue, 27 Mar 2001 03:31:45 GMT
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Viewed:
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284 times
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In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Frank Filz writes:
> There is some truth to this, but if one loses the major connection with
> a friend, it is often easy for that friendship to drift away. This is
> not necessarily a bad thing, but it is still somewhat sad. I for one
> regret that almost all of the friendships from my youth and college have
> gone. I kept up some friendships, but when you don't have a regular
> opportunity to interact, it's hard.
I believe a friendship truly dies when people drop their committments of
staying in touch. Friendship is a very time intensive relationship. The time
spent with a friend allows each one to influence the other and the context
of that time together is the bond. The more time you allow to pass between
the two of you, the further your paths diverge. In that time that passes,
the influence is reduced, other interests are pursued, other people become
more important, and attitudes change. When you return to that friendship,
you can only be at the stage you left it in and hope that he/she is still
somewhat the same person you remember.
>
> While there are folks here on Lugnet that I have so far only interacted
> with online, we have shared more than just our hobby of the brick. I'm
> glad that Todd has provided forums for interaction other than just about
> the brick.
Exactly my point. It is the interests besides LEGO that will deepen the
friendship.
> Another point: My definition of a friend over an acquaintance rests more
> on what kinds of things you share. I have some very important friends
> which I only see once or twice a year, and if one of us stops going to
> the events we see each other at, the friendship is likely to wither, but
> while we are together we can share deeply, and that is important and
> valuable, and something which can engender a feeling of loss when the
> paths diverge.
Time is the major factor. Also, proximity and touch certainly deepen the
interaction. Strictly online friendships can't offer that.
Dan
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Friendships, online acquaintances, etc.
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| (...) Right, of course, the more time spent together (if things work out), the closer you'll be. (...) Hmm, I agree and disagree altogether. Two weeks ago I would've agreed; but I've just visited my hometown and saw my old friends, who I haven't had (...) (24 years ago, 28-Mar-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Keeping things in perspective
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| (...) There is some truth to this, but if one loses the major connection with a friend, it is often easy for that friendship to drift away. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it is still somewhat sad. I for one regret that almost all of the (...) (24 years ago, 27-Mar-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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