Subject:
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Re: Why the absence of LD in their own newsgroup?
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.lego.direct
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Date:
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Sat, 15 Jun 2002 18:25:38 GMT
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In lugnet.lego.direct, Tony Kilaras writes:
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> This is bad. Very, very bad.
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> Suz, this is far more than anybody on lugnet needed to know.
>
> Nothing good is going to come from this. • In lugnet.lego.direct, Tony Kilaras writes:
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> This is bad. Very, very bad.
>
> Suz, this is far more than anybody on lugnet needed to know.
>
> Nothing good is going to come from this.
Well, I certainly see that now.. :-(
After my posting yesterday, I had to return to my job, where there are no
computers. So, not until 6 p.m., when I got home, did I receive my accumulated
blasting. The first few replies hurt me enough to start me bawling. I had *no*
idea that I'd done something wrong. Todd had been trying to reach me all day. I
called him then, and we talked about it for a while. Having seen so many people
online, whom I know and respect, be so vehemently disgusted with me was truly
devastating. totally humiliating. This morning, I still have blurred and crusty
eyes. And more of your posts are popping up as I write this.
I did the wrong thing and I am sorry.
While I can not defend my behavior/post, I do want to describe how I felt when
I wrote it. If that's more than you want to hear, stop now.
When I read Jake's reply, I was *extremely* angry and hurt. I felt duped,
insulted, betrayed, and forced into a corner. At about 10 a.m., after an hour
of stomping, growling, and kicking boxes in the warehouse where I work (I knew
better than to post before venting..), I still wasn't able to forget about
LUGNET. I had trouble working. So, I hopped in a car, drove to the nearest
public computer and posted. Big mistake.
Unfortunately, my imagination had mushroomed everything by then... So this will
sound obnoxious and paranoid, but I still want to describe how I felt...
I felt I simply HAD to alert the community that our LD liaison had (in my mind)
deliberately chosen to cut back dialogue with the innocent readers at LUGNET
because (I believed) he had decided to push an issue with me by using the
readership. Prior to yesterday morning, I had had no idea that site-wide
posting was so important to him. As that hit me, I was furious (to imagine)
that, if he had only expressed himself completely months before, or since, then
the readership (and I) would not have been made to wait through his silence in
ignorance (I thought). And how long would we have waited if I hadn't asked for
an explanation (I wondered)? I wanted the community to see (as I did,
yesterday) that this person was not to be entirely trusted.. that complaints of
posting-difficulty were exaggerated for a reason and that everyone was being
skillfully turned against me. My mind was not in a good place. I felt
desperate. I felt I'd been dealt an all-or-nothing ultimatum. One that hit
where it hurt.. on an issue I feel personally strongly about. it was just TOO
MUCH. A button had been pushed, and the missile was in the air.
This was a case of very bad judgment and raging emotions. Today it's painfully
clear-as-day that I screwed up *bigtime*. I hurt myself and Todd, Jake and TLC,
and worst, the fans who come here for what ought to be the most fun and happy
time possible.
I have no defense, except to say: I'm human, and whether we like it or not, I
make mistakes. sometimes big mistakes. This position is a difficult one for me
and I'm still learning on the job.
I'll make every effort to patch things up with LD. If they're willing to work
with me, I'm hoping we'll begin a new, less bumpy, relationship.. we'll see.
Jake told me he might not be available until Tuesday, so if there's a delay in
progress, please don't panic.
And please, please, put down your blow torches and step away.
:-|
-Suz
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Message has 10 Replies:
 | | Re: Why the absence of LD in their own newsgroup?
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| Suz's post must have been difficult to write. She's right about screwing up, but who here hasn't done something they regret? I have enjoyed LUGNET for years, and have this is my first post. Clearly people are upset by Suz's behaviour, and want to (...) (22 years ago, 15-Jun-02, to lugnet.lego.direct)
| | | Re: Why the absence of LD in their own newsgroup?
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| In lugnet.lego.direct, Suzanne D. Rich writes: [quite a thoughtful post] Well, I must say you put a lot of thought into this, but as they say, nobody is perfect. This post must have really taken some time to word, but I commend you for your effort (...) (22 years ago, 15-Jun-02, to lugnet.lego.direct)
| | | Re: Why the absence of LD in their own newsgroup?
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| I must say that I couldn't post onto this thread because I know how it feels to be personally attacked by others, though my experience was far less than yours. I innocently posted something, that in my mind was okay, and everyone attcked me, my (...) (22 years ago, 15-Jun-02, to lugnet.lego.direct)
| | | Re: Why the absence of LD in their own newsgroup?
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| (...) Wow. That was a very strong post, Suz. I refused to join in the attack on you mostly because I don't have a very good attitude about LEGO myself at the moment, but I was another one who was amazed at your post and wondered. You've shown great (...) (22 years ago, 16-Jun-02, to lugnet.lego.direct)
| | | Re: Why the absence of LD in their own newsgroup?
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| "LUGNET Admin" <suz@lugnet.com> writes: [...] (...) [...] Thank you for this. I accept your apology and I hope that you can successfully mend the rift with TLC. I am very glad to see your prompt (given the circumstances) reply. I support you and (...) (22 years ago, 16-Jun-02, to lugnet.lego.direct)
| | | Re: Why the absence of LD in their own newsgroup?
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| In lugnet.lego.direct, Suzanne D. Rich writes: [snipped a GoodPost (tm?)] Suz, This was actually the post I've been waiting for. I have been following this thread, wondering what could have made you so angry. You see, I have been around LUGNET for a (...) (22 years ago, 16-Jun-02, to lugnet.lego.direct)
| | | Re: Why the absence of LD in their own newsgroup?
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| Suz: I don't think you did anything wrong. These people seem to be spring loaded to he pi**ed off position. After all is said and done this is still just a toy and if it is all that important to all these people to get so upset they need to get a (...) (22 years ago, 16-Jun-02, to lugnet.lego.direct)
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