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Matt, I revisited your tale and made it through the first two scenes. One point on presentation: it would be helpful if scenes were divided by something like asterisks (****). Also, this sentence: She asked, looking towards Dash, still donned in his (...) (22 years ago, 18-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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(...) To illustrate just what it is I'm trying to say about what I see, I made this real quick: (URL) making this picture, I noticed what might be a whisker, or perhaps a very long tooth. I would hope it's a whisker (which goes well with the whole (...) (22 years ago, 18-Dec-02, to lugnet.adventurers, lugnet.year.2003, lugnet.castle)
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(...) I've started reading the story but have yet to finish - it's a good one though! Lot's smiles :) (...) Yikes! Good stuff! Looks like a real trailer done with a big budget! Best regards, /Tobbe (URL) SPAM when e-mailing) (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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"Anthony Sava" <savatheaggie@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:H75JE2.19F@lugnet.com... <snip> (...) As I've said so many times before. I only hope that someday our website will be this good. Burn effect is done good. Not too much so that you can't (...) (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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(...) wanted to say that I finished reading the whole story the other day and that really is something to be proud of. I look forward to the sequel. Rock on wif ya bad self! e. (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle)
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(...) Yup. (...) Always good to have a fan, albeit slightly overzealous. (...) Yeah, it takes time to get a story ready. I just figured I'd release some things to make sure people remembered who I was. (...) Well, you are entitled to your opinions (...) (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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(...) I'm afraid I felt compelled to put the warning on my story. If you'll go back to the original site, you'll see it's there now too. I feel that if I want my story to be socially accepted, especially by non fan created websites, it would be to (...) (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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(...) Okay, after a small review, I decided to edit some of the sentences. Most of the paragraphs were shortened, and I took the liberty to ameliorate the final paragraphs so they seem more readable. (...) True...they're rather abstruse at times...I (...) (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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(...) Well, I sure hope my new website will be a competitor to the Kingdom of Ikros. I can only hope it'll be half as popular. I'm glad you liked my teaser so much, it took me a while to make it, especially with so few new pictures to work with. (...) (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle)
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(...) Thanks much! Well, I hope I don't disappoint anyone. I'm working on ironing out the plot, and it's turning out to be a rather interesting story. As for the dragons, well, I'm not promising anything... one way or the other. And thanks for the (...) (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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(...) Thanks much! I don't know if I'll be putting out a new movie, I'm all out of good* music! But maybe, just maybe I can scrounge something up. (...) Chapter one of Chaos Skies won't be ready till at least after Christmas, if not after the new (...) (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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Hi Matt, I had a similar reaction. I couldn't find my way through your sentences. And I am a very skilled reader. (...) Your poetry is fine but your sentences are too long. (...) Nah, the sentences are just too long. Your poetry and meaning are (...) (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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(...) Well, that's a shame to hear... When I write, I tend to place it in a poetic stance, however, I've seen the notion that some people prefer the more 'straightforward' type of writing, which I find rather boring. (...) You'll find (...) (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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Well, Matt, I'm not sure how much my comments will be "appreciated" as they are going to be in the vein of "discouraging words". I got about half-way through the second line of the first sentence, then pretty much gave up. I scrolled down through (...) (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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(...) Did you mean by any chance, your story dwarfs in five dollar words compared to mine, or the other way around? Hmm...^_^ (...) Thanks for the feedback. (...) Heh...I hardly read enough as is...I draw a lot of anime, though, so that's a source (...) (22 years ago, 17-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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(...) Superbly written Matt. You've really captured the essence of aristocracy in the way your characters speak. I must say the amount of five dollar words in your story signifigantly dwarfs the number in my own. However, and maybe it's just me, and (...) (22 years ago, 16-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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(...) F f f f finally. (...) wELL YA KNOW IM A FAN. (...) HMMM ITS OK BUT MAYBE SOME PICS FROM THE NEW STORY WOULD BE BETTER, BUT HEY MAYBE U DIDN'T DO THE NEW STORY YET. (...) AS ALWAYS THE DRAGON AND GRIFFIN LOOKIN KOOL. ALL NEW CHARS ARE GOOD BUT (...) (22 years ago, 16-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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Hello, just checking .castle recently, and there didn't seem to be much activity, so I decided, why not unveil the next part of my online novella, Anachronistic Skies. The most recent addition deals with some rather interesting dialogue. Hope it is (...) (22 years ago, 16-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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(...) Sava is giving himself a run for his own money!?!?!?! What are you talking about Erick? Though TKOI is the best Epic in Lego storying telling history, I think it helps that it is fully illustrated and complete. ;-) Looking foward to the sequel (...) (22 years ago, 16-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle)
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Anthony, Great intro. Sound really adds a lot to a presentation. The one technical comment I have is to reconsider having a flash animation on your intro page - on many computers that don't have flash, it comes up as a big broken link in the middle (...) (22 years ago, 16-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle)
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