Subject:
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Space Factory Translation.
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.space
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Date:
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Thu, 28 Feb 2002 22:46:46 GMT
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In lugnet.space, Mark Sandlin writes:
> Hey, this thing is cool!
>
> I can't read German, tho. :^(
>
> http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?i=123714
Hi all,
with very special thanks to Mark Atkin, here's the complete translation.
Hope you'll enjoy it.
Regards,
Fred
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/01.startchart.jpg
SPACE FACTORY®
I could never believe that a legend like LL497 could have been created in a
frosty factory hall in Billund.
I'd expect something greater. A subspace dock for example, 1200 studs wide.
Or a dimension where blue, gray and trans-yellow atoms randomly bob around
until they cause a Big Bang, culminating in the best page of the 1980
LEGO®-catalog.
Don't you agree?
--------
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/02.kubrickscube.jpg
One important question has never been answered: What does one of these red
cosmonauts do after he has nicely totalled his LL918?
What will a poor white astronaut do when it's time to say goodbye to his
corroded 886 with half a million miles on its mileage indicator?
Ok, you could get it on eBay, but everyone knows that the prices there soar
as quickly over market value as the Enterprise does going through a wormhole.
-----------
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/03.mit_926.jpg
But DON'T PANIC. Just hitch a ride through the galaxy and get dropped off in
space sector LL.49.X. That's a kind of intergalactic Detroit. Since the
White Trash Wars under General F. Ibblesnork (1987-93), its formerly good
infrastructure has been been reduced to one location: The Space Factory.
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http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/04.926.ruine.jpg
This trashy neighbor of the Space Factory isn't the factory museum, but the
outpost 4.9.3., which was abandoned many years ago. It was from there that
the whole planet was industrustrialized. Yes, those guys were still heroes.
Even in this windy corner of the galaxy they couldn't even close the door.
The ruin's only use nowadays is to demonstrate the relative size of the
technocratical monster that is our main focus.
-------
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/05.mit_trafo.jpg
You can't do anything electrical without mass - and here it's the mass of
gray 4x4 satellite dishes that is notable. 84 of them are in this
transformer station. Many a reader will remember that I needed plenty of
them then, in early 2001.
Again many heartfelt thanks for the numerous contributions. Without them the
station's workers would have been forced to the Dark Side due to energy
shortages.
------
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/06.schrottplatz.jpg
Naturally a factory such as this occasionally has to dispose of some trash,
which finds its final peace here. A pile of garbage, which you couldn't buy
for under $20.00 initial asking price on eBay: 6901 (very rare in Germany),
a rocket from a 483 (only used once), the fork lift part from a 487 (of
course without the spring), bits from 462, 6941, and lots more.
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http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/07.hintertor.jpg
Size does matter: Based on minifig scale this gate would be about 30 ft.
high. But this piece of crap still isn't big enough - more on that later.
Note the high shelf on the inside right. Officer Justin Time, the stores
supervisor, had it made a while ago, to temporarily keep structures for the
452. This became necessary due to delivery difficulties by the company that
made transparent radar dishes.
-----
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/08.lift.jpg
Pull my fing... ehm... elevator: This turbolift is a bit silly because its
turbo is missing. Quite the opposite: it doesn't have any means of
propulsion, other than the hand of the designer.
Using the push design you can see on the right (or as Lego would say:
"Multimechanical start-stop equalizer"), the elevator can stop on every
floor; and it's also used to activate the sliding doors on the higher floors.
----
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/09.dachvogel.jpg
J.J. Chatking* is the building's caretaker, and he has gone straight to the
top. This is partly due to the fact that he's at work 40 hours a day (which
has made him quite popular), and partly to his official vehicle, a modified 885.
He rushes around the station on it, cares for the warm water and plasma
pipes, and is always jovial. He was born in a small English town. This town
hasn't existed for a long time, but he still remembers it fondly.
*Note: I made him the caretaker because in the german newsgroup
www.1000steine.de Jojo "J.J." Koehler (lugnet member no. 693) is known as
the man chatting and posting around the clock. Completely incredible. And
the English town where he (the caretaker...) was born is an allusion to set
1592.
"J.J." and me have got a running gag in the newsgroup: One time we found out
that two or three versions of 1592 exist (the only differences being in the
stickers) and after that we began to build various 1592's like these:
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/Pudie/hattersheim2001/1592snow.jpg
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/olivgrau/Meeting-30-12-2001/1592space.jpg
This became a contest between us and we're constantly laughing about our
1592 fantasies like the "underwater-edition" or the "paradisa style 1592"
and so on.
------
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/10.begruessung.jpg
You're welcome. Perhaps. You may be greeted in one of many different ways
when standing in front of the gate, asking for admittance. One is especially
for known late-payers who still spout negative comments. Or astronauts who
bring oversized wooden horses. They get a shot across the bow. Which can
also happen if the gatekeeper in the booth is simply in a bad mood that day
-- due to his go-nowhere job. But that's not important right now.
--------
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/11.waffen.jpg
The other possibility: You are a pizza delivery that doesn't deliver*. Or
you post nasty links in the Lego forum. Then don't take too much time
getting lost. Within 20 seconds an unexpected amount of firepower is at the
ready -- ready to introduce the unwelcome visitor to infinity.
By the way: that can also happen if the gatekeeper is just in a bad mood,
and the relationship between this planet's faded infrastructure and this
weapon system has never been completely determined. But that's not so
important right now, either.
*Two years ago the whole German newsgroup had a lot of trouble with an ebay
seller named "pizzaflitzer". Actually he's in prison now due to his bad
business practices.
---
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/12.haupttor.jpg
But DON'T PANIC. If you paid your last 918 on time, you don't have any
problems with your credit history, or you have at least 10 positive comments
on eBay, the main gate will open. The cameras keep an eye out for anyone
hiding behind the next crater, trying not to be seen.
Let's go in. We were trying to find out were all the little spaceships come
from, after all.
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http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/13.886.line.jpg
In loving memory of Henry Ford: the production line for model 886 is nearly
fully automatic. However, there is a supervisor for every robot -- due to
their artificial intelligence the grippers do prefer to put buggies together
for LL497.
The 886 is very interesting from a marketing standpoint, since it has the
property of vanishing without a trace in any ordinary pile of bricks. This
creates enough demand for assembly line manufacturing.
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http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/14.6950.jpg
6950 may be named Mobile Rocket Transport, but as threatening as this thing
looks, nobody can tell me it was only used to move the rocket. So after the
owner of a 6950 has shot his bolt, he can get new ammo in the Space Factory.
The one shown here is nearly ready, but still needs to be painted.
----
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/15.924und928.jpg
The one and only space frame: Now at last we come to the starting point for
every Space Factory thought. That plain frame back there will have matured
into the best space ship of all times within the next two work days.
Propelled by seven large jets it will reach up into the starry firmament,
lighting a torch for the good old Lego sets with its ion vapor trail, and
the poetic blue paint job will remind the whole universe of great times,
during which...
*cough* So much for pathos.
-----
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/16.924.jpg
This evening she'll be blue again: This 487 isn't a new construction, but a
restoration job. Welded, derusted, and primed she waits for the paint car.
It can be seen in the background. It will uncouple the blue paint container
and then roll towards the main entrance, so that the aforementioned 6950
rocket can get a little color.
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http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/17.grabber.jpg
This charming four-armed device is of course inspired by "Aliens", but has
quite the earthly purpose: This fork lift and crane hybrid can reach
every corner of the factory floor. It was made using the WATS method: Where
Are The Studs? Named after my confusion during construction, because I
didn't know which side was up anymore, and was nearly forced to take this
labor saving device away from the minifigs.
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http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/18.tower.tor.jpg
Ah yes, the boys from the tower. Their job involves many ups and downs.
Because the "landing platform with tower and factory entrance" (does anyone
know the set number?) was already finished in my head, I had to justify this
mental picture with the need for flying a 497 out of the factory. The two
other gates were too small, after all. Which I unfortunately didn't notice
until brick row 42...
----
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/19.grosstor.jpg
Well, one could have simply ordained that the minifigs have to take the 928
apart again to get it out of the building. For legoholics the construction
and deconstruction is the point of the game, after all. But from the
perspective of the yellow worker astronauts - and especially the grouchy
boss - maybe not very productive. First I tried out a moving ceiling. A
Space Factory convertible, so to speak. Great idea! Removing the damage of
this structural insanity I remembered the times before my Dark Ages - and
solved the gate problem as I did then: hinge as hinge can.
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http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/20.kantine.aussen.jpg
Minifigs are hard - which is is well known to anyone who has stepped on one.
Nevertheless, they can't survive a 26 hour day without a break. Even if the
boss would prefer it that way. The interstellar Lego union has therefore
made sure that the Space Factory is equipped with a cafeteria. To make up
for it the work co-operative S.T.U.D. overlooked the extremely perilous
staircase to the 2nd floor.
-----
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/21.fluegelschneider.jpg
And now we know why you always find wings when you are looking for gray 4x8
plates.
-----
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/22.kantine.innen.jpg
The kitchen nook really just creates an unnecessary job, since the food
consists purely of studded protein cookies. But supposedly the man in the
white hat makes a fine cappuccino. And the tap dispenses nice cold beer
that is perfectly poured out after only two and a half minutes -- thanks to
the different gravity.
-----
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/23.6801.halle.jpg
This stairway leads through tool distribution to the "saucer section". There
the popular 6801 with its characteristic dishy underside is created.
-----
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/24.6801.montage.jpg
Poor 6801. Once completed, she must take flight and leave her nest. Every
single one.
-----
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/25.bossbuero.jpg
Introducing Commander D. Arkside. The boss equivalent of a Great Green
Arkleseizure, and as capitalistic as any Ferengi. Like so many bosses he has
a pointlessly large office, a pointlessly large chair, and the conference
room with the best view. In addition his office is pressurized, while his
employees down on the floor work twenty-six hour days in space suits. He
passes the time primarily by playing crater golf. Which doesn't stop him
from being grumpy. All the time. And this is his friendliest face.
-----
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/26.zentrale.jpg
All threads -- and even more cables -- come together in the technical
control center. Untold computer bricks were used here; they produce a
combined computing power of 4.4 Legobyte. A conference room is in here as
well -- draw your own conclusions about the actual job of the builder*. The
conference room has a "beamer".** Yup, these were invented long ago, but it
only beams pictures, and only across a few feet.
*I work in an advertising agency, and spend most of my time in conference
rooms -- like Dilbert® himself...
**In German advertising agencies the type of projector which is plugged onto
laptops for presentations is called a "Beamer". The transporter system which
is installed in the USS Enterprise does the same job - Scotty, beam this,
Scotty beam that... So we're very proud of having a functionable beaming
system - even if it's no transporter system. One of the presentation
mistakes in this gallery is that you can't actually see the "beamer" on the
picture...
-----
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/27.labor.jpg
In the station laboratory elements are accelerated, new engines are tested,
and all kinds of chemical shenanigans performed.
-----
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/28.labortuer.jpg
Lab director Mc Hopemaster* likes to close the doors.**
Why is there a control console in the lab? Well...
*The last name of the webmaster of www.1000steine.de is "Hoffmeister".
"Hopemaster" is a pidgin translation of this name.
**in the original German this can also mean "he likes to fill up Scottish
people with alcohol". Thats why I made him "Mc" Hopemaster.
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http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/29.laborliftoff.jpg
If you have ever wished you could shoot your product development department
to the moon.... well, now you can. For risky experiments the whole lab
module is transported into orbit. The boss in the office below does have to
turn up the AC, though, during take-off. A three story building is being
blown into the sky, after all. 32 large jets are necessary for this, with
the corresponding thermal output.
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http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/30.satellit.jpg
Having arrived in orbit the ex-tower hoists its solar sails, allowing the
lab crew to finally work in peace. Shouldn't be a problem in the quietness
of the universe. Although this quietness can be surprisingly finite after
certain experiments. Which is why there is an emergency exit -- just in case
somebody fooled around with the anti-matter or nibbled on some of the
elementary particles.
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http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/31.abhauen.jpg
Idiot escape: The escape pod gives at most four unlucky scientists the
opportunity to leave the scene of the crime. Old log books shed light on an
awkward incident: The lab was in orbit, and heavy smoke from a plasma fire
made evacuation necessary. Unfortunately there were two too many astronauts
on board at the time, and so the crew played musical chairs around the
escape capsule. The two that didn't get a place to sit when the computer
switched off Bowie's "Space Oddity" obviously didn't come to a bad end
though -- you know you can't stop a minifig from grinning.
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http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/32.fluchtkapsel.out.jpg
The escape pod provides each of the four happy escapees with a seat, an
oxygen ration, and a helmet. The religious character of this interstellar
lifeboat is due to the four seats, but it also fits its catastrophic mission.
The capsule isn't steerable -- the escape sequence is pre-programmed. It's
an unconfirmed rumor that a certain Lieutenant Ben B. Rownschwike*
programmed in a course to Alpha Centauri on April 1st, 2499**, and then
triggered the escape alarm from the cafeteria. The crew onboard was fired on
September 1st, 2499, due to failure to show up to work.
*"Ben" (lugnet member 448) is a highly respected member of the German
community. He lives in Braunschweig, a town in northern Germany.
"Braunschweig" and "Brownschwike" are spoken the same way.
**Ben's 1999 April Fool's joke became a legend:
http://www-public.tu-bs.de:8080/~rbeneke/lego/misc/misc.html#fun
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http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/33.wrackteile.jpg
After a successful escape the crew isn't in bits and pieces, but their
former place of work is. Normally the evacuated labs explode and distribute
themselves around the planet. How frequently does this happen? Well... the
home planet of the Space Factory has on occasion been confused with Saturn.
-----
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/34.kapsel.landed.jpg
While the fleeing scientists are still trying to figure out how to explain
this to the boss, the escape pod has landed automatically and softly: in
space sector LL.49.X. That's a kind of intergalactic Detroit, whose formerly
good infrastructure has been... Oh yes, we did that already.
http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/herrminator/SpaceFactory/35.endcredits.jpg
Special Thanks
o Adobe Photoshop
o Ben for the inspiring train shed
(http://www.brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=12169)
and blue bricks in BS
(We swapped Lego Basics at the FGLTC-Meeting 2000 in Braunschweig)
o Bine for constant parts supply and entertainment per mail
o HoMa for blue tiles and "SNOT-Kicks"
(HoMa (lugnet member 1151) made me a SNOT-Fan and has always some inspiring
ideas concerning SNOT technique. Have a look:
http://www.home.fh-karlsruhe.de/~maho0013/bricks.htm)
o Jojo for 2 gray tiles (rare) and just for fun
(Jojo and me swapped 2 grey 1x6 tiles (rare) against two grey roof corners
(also rare). Ten days later you could buy these parts in masses at www.b-o-a.de)
o Karl-Heinz for a whole pound (blue for yellow)
o Oliver for motivation
o Pudie for enthusiasm, parts and constant willingness to help
(100% fire department :)
(Pudie is really a fireman!)
o Rene for 1000steine and BOA
o thorsten.ac for the gray 32x32's, without which the transformer
station would have had no ground to stand on
o TF for surf tips and Space Show
o Thorsten H. for 14 hour photo session
o zany for the last saving tiles
o Marc Atkin for the translation
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Message has 3 Replies:
 | | Re: Space Factory Translation.
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| Hey! That's awesome! I always wondered what those astronauts would do if they crashed their 918. Well, guess I know now. I'm looking forward to seeing more stories like this. <<_Matt Hein_>> Lugnet member No. 1112 ---...--- Osprey's site coming (...) (23 years ago, 1-Mar-02, to lugnet.space)
| | | Re: Space Factory Translation.
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| Well that's durn cool! The factory rocks, the pictures and photoshoping is excelent, and the story is wonderfull. :-) Nice work Fred, and thanks for taking the work to translate for us language-impared. :^P (...) (23 years ago, 1-Mar-02, to lugnet.space)
| | | Re: Space Factory Translation.
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| (...) That's brilliant, absolutely brilliant! The amount of work that must've gone into a project so detailed and well written is an inspiration :) Adrian -- www.brickfrenzy.com (23 years ago, 1-Mar-02, to lugnet.space)
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