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Subject: 
Re: A little self examination?
Newsgroups: 
lugnet.off-topic.debate
Date: 
Thu, 19 Oct 2000 19:11:05 GMT
Viewed: 
358 times
  
In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Tim Courtney writes:
This whole thing has gotten me thinking -- Matthew was out to prove a point,
right?  Matthew is also a jerk and has serious problems, right.  But, just
because he carried himself *very* poorly here doesn't mean he might not have
something valuable to say to us.  I'm just trying to think if there's
anything about this community that is out of whack, like he suggested.

I can see your concern but I wouldn't really worry about it.  Although I didn't
participate in the thread yesterday I did read it.  To me responding to such
posts is like throwing water on a grease fire and thats why I have come to
avoid them.  In my experiance people like Matthew are just out for attention
and if you ignore them they eventually go away.  I know that is hard if not
impossible for many of you especially seeing the very inappropriate attacks
Matthew made here on LUGNET and the inappropriate graphic on his site but for
me ignoring him does more to solve the problem then responding to him.


I was talking to a friend yesterday about the whole deal - someone who has
slipped away from Lugnet intentionally but unnoticed.  That person feels
that the community is elitist, and from that person's perspective I
understand.  They feel that when they post here people ignore them, that
they're a good candidate to kill a thread, etc.  I don't like it that my
friend has had that experience here.

Well I would tell your friend not to worry about it.  Most of my posts never
get responded to and I think if you looked across LUGNET statistically you
would find that its the same for almost everyone.  Sure a few of my posts have
received tremendous response but to tell you the truth some of those I was
supprised by the response and a few of my not so popular posts I thought would
generate a lot of conversation.

Heck I will even admit that I am not as active (responding to others posts) but
that is not because I don't find them interesting.  Its just I don't have the
time to respond to people like I used to.  I also have come to dislike "Me Too"
posting a great deal so if someone has already said what I would have I just
don't bother.  I think many have developed this attitude so in general there
are lots of posts that don't get a hugh response even though many people enjoy
reading the post.


One thing we all know, this is a *community* and communities are made up of
people with vastly differing opinions and backgrounds.  Different tastes,
levels of tolerance, etc.  We've seen a pretty bad case here demonstrated
yesterday.  I doubt anyone currently in the community would repeat such
actions.  But something must have triggered that, whether it was Matthew's
own personal problem, his genuine experience with the people a few years
ago, or a combination of both.  I'm just asking myself out loud what might
be our problem, if we have one.  I certainly don't want to see anyone hurt
by this group of people.  Unfortunately we had a very upstanding member of
this group leave a couple weeks ago from frustrations.

Hey what happened was unfortunate but I wouldn't go out trying to stop it.  It
will happen again and there is basically nothing any of us can do about it sort
of dealing with the problem when it happens.  At some point in the future there
will be someone that wasn't around when this conversation took place and will
act irresponsibly its just human nature.

So I wish people wouldn't worry about it.  I think the community in general is
great and people like this arn't going to make me leave.  I just tune them out
and hope in time they will come around (I have seen this happen).

Granted there are also different "Levels of enthusiasm" here as well and I
consider myself somewhere in the middle of the enthusiasm scale where others I
see at the high end of that scale.  Those at the high end of the scale probably
get offended more easily than those in the middle or low end of the scale just
because they take things more seriously/personally.  To me its LEGO and the
best toy ever but I could live without it if I had to and it wouldn't take that
long for me to get over it.


So I open it up for thoughts on the issue, and am willing to discuss and
examine just the same myself.  Anyone?

And someone slap me if I'm crazy.  I'm writing this because I think that
what we saw yesterday was pretty serious, and if the community has anything
to do with it I'd like to see that change.  If it was all Matthew and
whatever he was smoking, that's all fine and dandy I s'pose.

Well what happend yesterday was all Matthew but like I said earlier, it will be
someone else tomorrow, next month, or next year.  Its not something we can
avoid its just something we have to deal with.  Sure things like that will make
some people leave if they just can't deal with it but for the most part we will
all stay and within a couple of months forgive and forget that it happened.

So just put on your bullet proof vest or coat yourself with teflon and deal
with the problems when they arrise and don't let them get to you too much.
This is a hobby for the vast majority of us after all and it shouldn't make
that big a difference in our lives when one person flies off the handle.


Peace all...

Nice theory but not likely in our lifetime :-).


Eric Kingsley

The New England LEGO Users Group
http://www.nelug.org/



Message has 2 Replies:
  Re: A little self examination?
 
(...) didn't (...) G'day Eric, Y'know, I can't remember how many times I've read that advice in regards to disruptive posts or heated discussions. Having posted in electronic forums since before there really was an internet, I've seen it a lot. But (...) (24 years ago, 20-Oct-00, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
  The Friendliest Site On The Internet. (Was Re: A little self examination?)
 
Eric Kingsley wrote in message ... (...) didn't (...) such (...) attention 0>and if you ignore them they eventually go away. I know that is hard if not (...) for (...) While I would agree that ignoring someone rude is preferable to flaming them, (...) (24 years ago, 21-Oct-00, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)

Message is in Reply To:
  A little self examination?
 
This whole thing has gotten me thinking -- Matthew was out to prove a point, right? Matthew is also a jerk and has serious problems, right. But, just because he carried himself *very* poorly here doesn't mean he might not have something valuable to (...) (24 years ago, 19-Oct-00, to lugnet.off-topic.debate) ! 

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