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Subject: 
Re: Lavender Brick Society
Newsgroups: 
lugnet.off-topic.debate
Date: 
Sat, 18 Sep 2004 17:13:07 GMT
Viewed: 
4382 times
  
In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Johannes Koehler wrote:
Before I started posting to this thread I made the following decisions:
1. I would not say anything revealing my own sexual preferences, whatever
they might be.

2. I would not say anything like "personally I'm not [this] but hey! if
people are [this] I'm totally fine with it!"

3. I would not say anything like "it's totally up to Todd to decide."
It's not completely easy to abide by these guidelines ;)

The tone of your post fairly well indicates that you're hetero, you're not okay
with LGBT lifestyles, and you don't really think it should be completely left to
Todd to decide.  I'd say you failed on the right parts and succeeded on the
wrong ones.

This is, in my opinion, one of the reasons why not-gay people may have mixed
feelings towards gays. It's kind of offending when somebody is obtruding you
the knowledge about his/her sexual orientation or preferences.

Just remember that the world presents a hetero lifestyle as the standard to
LGBTs.  Ever watch a romantic comedy?  How many of them involve a same-sex
relationship?  When has James Bond seduced a man?

It's not even necassary to be frigid or overly conservative for not wanting
to know this. Heterosexual men don't want to be told by every woman her
sexual secrets, nor do heterosexual women (I assume) want to be told this by
every man.

They'd at least want to know that the individual in question is hetero as well.
Just consider a world in which noone indicates their sexual preference in any
manner whatsoever.  Now go to the local bar (remembering that there would be no
gay bars, so anyone and everyone will be going to yours) and see if you can pick
someone who won't refuse to date you solely on your gender.  Now imagine you're
trying to do this as part of the LGBT minority.  And without offending any
heteros.  Or imagine you're gay and people keep being offended when you tell
them you're not interested in dating their respective sisters.  Or imagine
you're gay and one of your friends starts talking about "them evil gay people",
and how great it is that "we're both straight".  It'd be a lot less obtrusive if
there was some sort of permanent physical indicator that you're born with (like
there is with ethnicity), but there's not.  Or imagine that you're straight and
every single woman you flirt with turns away in disgust...and you don't know if
it's because you've got spinach stuck in your teeth or if you keep chasing after
lesbians.  The only way to avoid problems like these is for people to state
outright what their preferences are, and the world assumes "hetero" if you don't
say otherwise.

I understand this. Still the demand of gays to free themselves and tell the
world who they really are interferes with the demand of heterosexuals not to
know everybody's sexuality.

Heteros don't demand not to know anyone's sexual preference.  Many of them
demand to live in blissful ignorance so they can keep pretending that every last
single living creature on this planet is hetero.  They think it's only fair that
every last LGBT be terribly inconvenienced just so they won't be forced to
acknowledge their differences.



Message has 3 Replies:
  Re: Lavender Brick Society
 
(...) I couldn't agree more with what David said. As a gay person, I ask no more and no less than to speak equally with someone. If a straight person I talk to mentions "I went to the Lego store with my wife, blah blah blah" then I do in fact desire (...) (20 years ago, 18-Sep-04, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
  Re: Lavender Brick Society
 
Hello! (...) Since I'm an untransgendered hetero I don't need to be okay with such lifestyles. (...) That's only an assumption. (...) *sigh* To fail constantly is my destiny. Bye Jojo (20 years ago, 18-Sep-04, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
  Re: Lavender Brick Society
 
In lugnet.off-topic.debate, David Laswell wrote: [SNIP] (...) (sarcasm on) Ummmmm, Dave, yeah, we have conversations about this all the time. You must have overheard us. (sarcasm off) We're not the ones obsessed with defining ourselves primarily by (...) (20 years ago, 19-Sep-04, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)

Message is in Reply To:
  Re: Lavender Brick Society
 
Hello! Before I started posting to this thread I made the following decisions: 1. I would not say anything revealing my own sexual preferences, whatever they might be. 2. I would not say anything like "personally I'm not [this] but hey! if people (...) (20 years ago, 18-Sep-04, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)  

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