Subject:
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RE: Can you folks give any more info on this?
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lugnet.loc.au
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Date:
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Wed, 28 Aug 2002 03:59:33 GMT
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Hi,
It's quite simple to determine if they're lying about being a Jedi:
1. Person claims to be a Jedi.
2. All Jedi have midichlorians in their blood.
3. Test blood for presence of midichlorians.
4. If test is negative, person is lying.
Since midichlorian have yet to be discovered by medical science, or
otherwise described by George Lucas, all people who claim to be Jedi are
lying.
The whole midi-chlorians-in-the-blood thing smacks too highly of 'master
race'-ishness for my comfort. George Lucas' morality has seemed
questionable at the best of times, but I'm just willing to write it off
to the fact that he's just a bad writer.
Jedi are just terrorists, anyway:
---------
News from the war on terrorism
CORUSCANT-Presiding over a memorial service commemorating the victims of
the attack on the Death Star, the Emperor declared that while recent
victories over the Rebel Alliance were "encouraging, the War on Terror
is not over yet."
"We will continue to fight these terrorists, and the rogue governments
who harbor them, until the universe is safe, once and for all, and the
security of the Neo-New Cosmic Order ensured."
It was one year ago today that the Death Star, perhaps the greatest
symbol of the Empire's might, was destroyed in an attack by fanatic
Rebels, who used small, single-person crafts to infiltrate seemingly
impenetrable defenses. Thousands of mourners were on hand to remember
and pay tribute to the victims and their families.
"We lost our innocence that day," reflected one mourner. "I guess we
thought we were immune from the kind of violence that happens in other
galaxies. We were wrong."
"I lost hundreds of buddies that day," said one teary-eyed Stormtrooper.
"Guys whose only crime was trying make the Universe a safer place."
Although the day was colored by sadness, the mourners found some relief
in the news of a decisive victory over the Rebels.
In an attack led by Darth Vader, Empire forces were able to rout
hundreds of Rebels from a network of caves underneath the surface of the
planet Hoth. "We're not sure we got them all," says a Vader spokesman.
"There are a lot of places to hide in those caves. But we've delivered a
powerful blow to the terrorist's infrastructure, that's for sure. Today,
the Empire has struck back."
Initial reports are unclear as to the fate of Luke Skywalker, a hero
among the Rebels, who is rumored to have delivered the fatal blow to the
Death Star. Skywalker, a former desert-dweller from the planet
Tattooine, became a part of the Rebellion after family members were
killed. Skywalker was trained by a militant wing of the Rebels, known as
"Jedi Knights." Fanatical in their religious beliefs, the Jedi Knights
claim to derive their power from the mystical "Force."
It's believed that Skywalker was specifically trained by infamous
terrorist O bin Wankanobi. Wankanobi, occasionally called "Ben" and
easily recognized by his bearded visage and long, flowing robes,
achieved near-martyr status among the Rebels after his death last year
during a spy mission. His more fervent followers believe that Wankanobi
lives on within them today, some even claiming to hear his voice during
times of duress.
The attack on the Death Star came shortly after the Empire's destruction
of Alderstaan, a planet whose government was known to harbor terrorists.
Responding to criticism over the total annihilation of the planet, Vader
stated, "There is no middle ground in the War on Terror. Those who
harbor terrorists are terrorists themselves. Alderaan was issued ample
warning. The fight for continuing Freedom is often burdened by terrible
cost." The cost of this war can still be seen today in the continuing
efforts to build a coalition government on Tattooine. Longstanding
animosities among the planets various ethnic groups, including the
Jawas, Tusken Raiders and scattered human settlers, have been an
impediment to the peace process. The Empire continues to maintain a
small peace keeping force until a provisional government is finally in
place.
Much of the difficulty in fighting the Rebel forces stems from their
lack of a central organizing structure. "They don't play by the
traditional rules of war," complained one spokesman. "They come in all
shapes and sizes, united only by their single-minded desire to destroy
the Empire before it destroys them."
The Emperor closed his comments today by stating that "the cowardly
attack on the Death Star left a deep scar on the Empire. However, we
will not stop fighting until every last evildoer has been brought to
justice." He paused for several moments, wiping away a tear and then
added with determination, "We will never forget."
"I wish we could all just get along," said one of the mourners. "But
it's hard to offer an olive branch to a cult of religious fanatics whose
main tool is violence and who insist on calling us the Dark Side."
--------
Coming back to Lego-related news, I was in Indro during lunch. I had a
look through the new (and open!) Toyworld there. There wasn't anything
special on the Lego front, just the exact same sets and prices that they
have in their city stores. No opening specials. Oh well, at least that's
one less reason for me to travel into the city. :)
Later,
David.
-----Original Message-----
From: news-gateway@lugnet.com [mailto:news-gateway@lugnet.com] On Behalf
Of Kerry Raymond
Sent: Wednesday, August 28, 2002 10:12 AM
To: lugnet.loc.au@lugnet.com
Subject: Re: Can you folks give any more info on this?
> 1. The $1000 fine that seems to offend a lot of people (see slashdot
> for an amazing amount of rants) is not for having a religion that
> isn't recognised by the state, but for lying on a census form. Since
> no-one who would actually be a practising Jedi (since there don't
> appear to be any particular tenets of the faith, to start with),
> claiming to be one would be lying.
The census is covered by a framework of legislation that restricts the
legitimate ways that census data can be used by the government, the
purpose of which is to protect the privacy of individuals. The reason
that you have to identify yourself is because it is well-known in
surveying that anonymous surveys get less accurate responses than those
with identification. So the identification is to improve the data
quality rather than an interest per se in who you actually are. I rather
suspect that to check someone was lying and then prosecute them for
doing so would almost certainly breach the legitimate uses of census
data somewhere along the line (I'm sure a lawyer would be happy to argue
this in court!). So identifying yourself and having a fine for lying are
basically to encourage people to tell the truth, in the belief that they
can be fined if they don't. However, the realistic likelihood of this
happening is probably 0.
Also, I would like to see the court case in which we proved a
Jedi-worshipper was lying. It rather begs the question of getting a
definition of religion and a basis for testing a person's beliefs. How
do we prove that someone is a Catholic? I bet a lot of people identified
on the census as Catholics haven't been to church in years and probably
say and do things not consistent with the "beliefs" of Catholicism. Were
they lying about being Catholic?
Personally I've attended all services of the Jedi faith (Episodes
1,2,4,5,and 6, some multiple times) and I have a number of books and
icons (plastic images of Jedi saints, e.g. a large Yoda and various
keyrings, all sold by S@H
incidentally) in my house further attesting to my devotion to the Jedi
religion. I have certainly attended more Jedi events than any other
religions in the past couple of decades.
> 2. The CNN article isn't wholly correct. Some names and addresses are
> kept by the ABS. There was an option where you can choose to release
> all of your census answers after 100 years have elapsed. I'm sure the
> people of the future will be just thrilled to find out that I live in
> St. Lucia, and have no children.
Yes, they will be thrilled and thank you for doing it (about half of the
population did agree to preserve their data for historical purposes). I
am someone who uses census records from the UK in the 1800s and I love
them. Indeed, it was only the fact that I am someone who uses
100-year-released census data, and hence do value its accuracy, that
stopped me from claiming adherence to the Jedi religion myself.
What I think the Jedi-on-the-census form "proves" is that an
increasingly large number of Australians thought it was an irrelevant
question to ask in the first place, which is consistent with the highest
ever response of "No Religion" also recorded in this census.
Kerry
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Can you folks give any more info on this?
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| (...) Ahhh, but the medical test for midichlorians was lost a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Absence of proof is not proof of absence. (...) My pet theory is that he put the bit about midichlorians in to *stop* loonies embracing it as a (...) (22 years ago, 28-Aug-02, to lugnet.loc.au)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Can you folks give any more info on this?
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| (...) The census is covered by a framework of legislation that restricts the legitimate ways that census data can be used by the government, the purpose of which is to protect the privacy of individuals. The reason that you have to identify yourself (...) (22 years ago, 28-Aug-02, to lugnet.loc.au)
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