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 Castle / Castle Organizations / Castle World / 1308
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Subject: 
Re: Land Ho, An Isle of Mist story
Newsgroups: 
lugnet.castle.org.cw
Date: 
Thu, 15 Nov 2001 01:31:24 GMT
Viewed: 
688 times
  
In lugnet.castle.org.cw, Shiri Dori writes:
Hi Cale!!

The story gives a good introduction to the main characters. Good job! I like
the little exposition about Joshua and Catherine's past, and yet you manage
to keep Catherine seem a bit secretive. An air of mystery around her motives.
Thanks for the compliments. I'm not sure where I'm going with the story yet.
I guess that might depend a little on what we find once the mist starts
receeding.

I tend to agree with Jeff - proofreading your work adds a lot to the story.
Try to make sure you close every pair of quotation marks. There are plenty
of places in the story where I would add commas. Try to read the story out
loud - whenever you stop for a second, there should be a comma.
And thanks to all of you for the advice. Grammer was not my best subject in
school.

Good luck! Can't wait to see what you come up with. Also, if you have any
questions about the area you've landed on, feel free to ask me. I'm the
story guide of that area.
Oh No! I can't take this kind of pressure :-)

Cale



Message has 1 Reply:
  Re: Land Ho, An Isle of Mist story
 
(...) I'd strongly suggest everyone's characters/parties have a goal for going to the Isle. It doesn't have to be earth-shattering or anything, just an ulterior motive that guides what they'll do and how they'll react to situations they encounter. (...) (23 years ago, 15-Nov-01, to lugnet.castle.org.cw)

Message is in Reply To:
  Re: Land Ho, An Isle of Mist story
 
(...) Hi Cale!! The story gives a good introduction to the main characters. Good job! I like the little exposition about Joshua and Catherine's past, and yet you manage to keep Catherine seem a bit secretive. An air of mystery around her motives. I (...) (23 years ago, 14-Nov-01, to lugnet.castle.org.cw)

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