Subject:
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Re: Land Ho, An Isle of Mist story
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.castle.org.cw
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Date:
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Wed, 14 Nov 2001 12:01:48 GMT
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Viewed:
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685 times
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In lugnet.castle.org.cw, Cale Leiphart writes:
> This is just a teeny, tiny, not so much that anyone would notice bit late,
> but I finally got around to Writing a story about my character's arrival on
> the Isle of mist. http://www.lugnet.com/~271/IsleofMist/Chaptrer1 I'm not a
> practiced story teller so any feedback would be appreciated.
Sounds good so far! I do have a few suggestions, though. ;) First, the last
paragraph is way too long. It really needs to be broken up a bit. Also, you
may want to print out some hard copies and get people to make corrections.
That should help you with a lot of the missing commas (most common before and
after quotes) and such I saw. Also, I believe lines of dialogue take paragraph
form, so each statement by a different person goes on a new line. Keep the
stories coming! It was enjoyable! :)
Jeff
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Message is in Reply To:
 | | Land Ho, An Isle of Mist story
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| This is just a teeny, tiny, not so much that anyone would notice bit late, but I finally got around to Writing a story about my character's arrival on the Isle of mist. (URL) I'm not a practiced story teller so any feedback would be appreciated. I (...) (23 years ago, 14-Nov-01, to lugnet.castle.org.cw)
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