Subject:
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How do I kill thee? Let me count the ways!
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.pirates
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Date:
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Tue, 11 Jan 2000 15:52:53 GMT
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Viewed:
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1105 times
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In lugnet.pirates, Richard Parsons writes:
> Ditto on the palm tree stuff. I give the new jr'd ones straight to my kids
> to use. The jr'd ones are no use to me at all. Still, I don't feel an
> almost overwhelming desire to do unspeakable things to them. Not like, say,
> Timmies....
>
> Richard
> Still baldly going...
Now you got me going again.
TIMMIES!
Arrrr, welcome aboard Timmy! Brought a lot o' yer clones, have ye? Good,
good. This be a right good ship, and the lot of ye can fill a variety o'
needs. I see that me crew gets plenty o' fresh fish, and ye'll make good chum.
Others prefer live bait, and troll for sharks.
A Timmie or two hangin' by the neck from the yardarms strikes fear into them
soft merchants - we can always use a new skeleton after the seabirds be
done with yer corpse! When we keel-haul ye, it'll not be just fer
innertainment, ye understand, but to clean the barnacles off the bottom o' me
ship. One of ye will be appointed to be chief plank-walking expert (remember
that part about chum?). We can lash ye to the bowsprit where ye will make a
fine, terrifying figurehead - 'member to hold yer breath when the big waves
come, lad.
The men can test the edge of their cutlass on yer neck, with the bonus that in
a pinch, we can rig a catapult and use yer severed head as ammo or to trade
with Islander head-hunters. Live targets fer gunnery practice excites the
crew, be it with musket, pistol, or just strapping ye across the muzzle of a
long 12.
O' carse, there always be the traditional cabin boy, but that be something best
not discussed here.
TIMMIES!
The Corsair
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Message has 2 Replies:
 | | Re: Timmies ahoy! (was how do I etc etc etc)
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| Bruce Schlickbernd wrote all manner of appalling duties that face Timmies aboard ship. Loved it. A few in there I hadn't though of. (...) best not discussed here. My ships have no cabin boys! I may have finally found and enduring use for a Timmy. (...) (25 years ago, 12-Jan-00, to lugnet.pirates)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Palm Trees: old segmented vs. new one piece
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| Frank Filz wrote in message ... (...) clearance. It has an old palm tree (currently would get you at least $1 on auction, 4 blue 2x2x3 steep slopes (to go with the new castle 2x2x3 steep slope corners) which should get at least $1 for the 4 on (...) (25 years ago, 11-Jan-00, to lugnet.pirates)
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