Subject:
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Re: It can never end can it
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.people.support
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Date:
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Wed, 8 Dec 2004 16:32:21 GMT
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Viewed:
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2406 times
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In lugnet.people.support, Jamie Obrien wrote:
<snip>
>
> all leading to the final realistion.........
> sorry
> jamie
Well, lets dust off some skellys in my closet...
Depression runs in the family. I didn't know this when I was younger and
couldn't figure out why I'd get really really down every so often. Of course,
school back in the '70's and early '80's didn't help much 'cause there were no
counsellors or the like, and kids have this very annoying habit of finding out
what irks you the most and just zooming right in and really hitting you where it
hurts. I was a bit of a geek in school--clumsy and such, and that earned me
huge points for being picked on.
Combined with the genetic depression, family issues and life in general 'piling
it on' (so I thought at the time), there were times there where I thought it
wasn't worth it to go on. And once, I actually went to the hospital (willingly,
I might add here) to seek out help, and after finding the quack who was suppose
to know something about these things, he stated bluntly, "What do you want me to
do about it?" and left me in the hallway.
That brought me up short. Then I thought about it--what could others do about
it? At the time I couldn't rely on my family (due to 'family issues'), my list
of friends were in a state of flux (we all just graduated high school after all,
and everyone was going their separate ways)--who could I turn to?
Some people already jumped to the conclusion "This is where he brings his
Christianity up". Well, no I'm not. But what I did come to realize is that,
whereas it's great to have someone you can rely on to get thru the various 'life
issues', there is only one person you have to live with from the day you were
born to the day you eventually pass on, and that's yourself.
No, I'm serious. Come to realize the value of you--it doesn't matter what other
people say, or think or even do to you--you should not be dependant on them for
your sense of self--who you are comes from within. Value you. Respect you. In
the end, others that you know now probably weren't there when you were a kid,
but you were. And these 'others' probably won't be there yesrs from now, but
you will be. So why would you make a life changing decision based on waht
others think, say, or do. Don't think about doing something stupid because of
how bad others make you feel--leave 'em--shake the dust off your feet, and move
ahead.
Do what's best for you today, as well as what's best for you in the future.
Once you realize that "To thine own self be true", all the horse puckies that
people throw your way is like water off a ducks back--it won't stick to you.
That's what got me to almost 40 thus far.
As a tangent, I have these 'personification' ideas happening in my mind--I, as
many others have in the past, equate life to a flowing river.
So we're all flowing down the river, and, by our actions, we affect the
direction, speed and flow of the 'river of life'. Our actions--what we do, say,
feel, etc, impacts on those around us, causing changes in the flow of the river.
The second you're dead, you can no longer influence the river directly--you
become a stake or a rock--immovable in the river. Now people's memories of you
will still continue to affect their travels downstream, but you can no longer
exert direct influence on any part of the 'river of life'. The longer you
remain alive, the longer you have to influence those around you. I try to
influence those around me with a positive attitude and a willingness to be there
for whatever they may need. I'm not successful all the time, to be sure (ask my
ex-fiancee) but, in the end, I try to do what's best for them, again, today, as
well as what's best for their future lives.
But that's just a brief glimpse into my 'walk of life'.
If I was of no help at all, I apologize. I'm not a bonafide pshrink or
counsellor.
If ya wanna chat, don't hesitate to e-mail.
Dave K
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