Subject:
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Re: It can never end can it
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.people.support
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Date:
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Thu, 17 Feb 2005 00:51:45 GMT
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Viewed:
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2398 times
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In lugnet.people.support, Mike Crowley wrote:
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Hi, Jamie.
My name’s Mike. I’m the guy who made the first post in
LUGNET/People/Support. I know what it feels like to have life come crashing
down on top of you. I know what it’s like to have things suddenly turn dark,
for all the fun and joy to get yanked out from under your feet. I’m not sure
how many people around here know this, but I’m a cancer survivor. For me, my
enemy was invisible. Yeah, it showed up on scans and stuff, but it’s not
like it was an actual person I could get mad at. It wasn’t some jerk that I
could walk up to and say, “hey, cut it out. Why are you doing this to me?”
That made it even more frustrating – not to be able to put a face to my
torment. But, let me tell you something: directing our anger toward others,
or even ourselves, during times of darkness and pain accomplishes nothing.
All it does is add to the pain. Instead of acting as a release, it only
breeds more sadness and pull us down even further.
You seem to be caught in a very rough place, and my advice is that you take a
moment to sit back, reflect, and attempt to focus on something that makes you
happy. Not something that just takes away your pain, but something that
makes you happy. You see, there’s a difference. Pain is a funny thing.
After a while, when you’ve been in pain for such a long time, it wears you
down. You start believing that whatever can take away your pain is a step in
the right direction. But, that’s not always true. Yeah, pain sucks.
Throughout my twenties (I’m 28 now), I was poked with needles, hooked up to
IV’s, pumped full of chemicals, blasted with radiation, subjected to the
horrible side effects of medications, operated on many, many times, and
almost died on several occasions. I’ve spent months inside isolated,
germ-free rooms, away from people, awake all night with insomnia and in pain,
in the dark, with only my own confused and battered consciousness to keep me
company. I’ve been asked to give everything I can give, and then, I was
asked to give even more. I’ve been to hell and back. But, trust me, you can
come back. And, you can be happy again.
The trick: you need to accept your pain. You don’t have to learn to live
with it, you just have to accept that it’s yours to deal with. I’m not
saying that you shouldn’t fight your pain, because you definitely should.
You should fight your pain with all your heart and soul. You need to fight,
because giving up or giving in means you’re weak. And, you’re not weak. You
seem damn tough to me. You’ve been dealt a load of crap in your life, and you
don’t deserve it. No one deserves it. But, trust me, you’re lucky. You’ve
got a great opportunity here. You’ve got a chance to become a person much
greater than you could have ever imagined. If you pull yourself through this
mess, life will be different forever, I guarantee it. You’ll be one of us:
one of the few for whom life instantly becomes a piece of cake. From then
on, no matter what gets tossed into your path, it’s nothing you won’t be able
handle. You’ll be a king. Don’t give up now. Push through and succeed.
You deserve to beat this. You deserve to get better. You deserve to feel
happy.
You’re pain is not your enemy. The people in your life who’ve wronged you
are not your enemy. You are not your enemy. The only enemy is that little
voice that’s telling you to quit. Reject that voice. See your doctor.
Medicine works. Ignore the people who seek to bring more hardship into your
world. They don’t realize just how much their actions affect you. Try as
hard as you can to focus on the awesome life you could have once you pull
though this mess. You can be happy. You deserve to be happy. Forget those
jerks that are giving you a hard time. They don’t know what it’s like to be
where you are right now. A few years from now, when you’re walking tall and
on top of the world, you won’t even remember them. They’re insignificant.
The only thing important right now is that you get better. And, getting
better means that you have to direct all your attention toward solving your
problems, not just getting rid of them. To solve your problems, you have to
face them. It’s hard, I know. But, once you’ve faced them, you’ll own them,
and from then on you can deal with them, and overcome them. Do it, Jaime.
Get better. I want you to get better.
-Mike “Count Blockula” Crowley
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Hi all who read this and also to Jamie...
First of all, I don’t want Jamie (or others) to take this the wrong way, because
my intention is not to hurt but to help.
I am friends with Jamie and I occassionaly chat to him, unfortunately most of
our talks are not about the wonderful things in life, but rather the opposite.
From information which I cannot share with any of you from what I have been told
if it is all correct and accurate... Jamie has been through a pretty hard time,
not just recently but over a long period of time. The details I know of (and I
don’t know about everything) are pretty heart wrenching (Jamie forgive me for
what I have already said, I just want people to understand you a little bit
better). I probably live the closest to Jamie than most of you and I have met
him personally once, several years ago (back before most of this put him in his
current situation).
From what I know of Jamie, he is a rather smart and intelligent young man, who
would have had a lot going for him, if he was on the right track. But sadly
events have cause this to go the opposite for him. I wish I could help Jamie
and I believe that deep down inside him, he wants help of some kind, maybe not
of the typical professional kind, but a kind he can relate to. There are
certain areas in his life I would prefer to see him stay away from as some of
these only bring him down further, I say this as a friend and I can’t tell him
what to do, but I wish a part of him would listen. Jamie doesn’t want to be
here much longer, which I find extremely sad, but I still think that there is a
part of him that is still keeping his flame alight, he has been going through
this for a very long time and something must be keeping him afloat.
I’m afraid with the chats we have had that I don’t know or realise how much he
really is in, I want to call him, but he won’t let me go that far, he doesn’t
want to hear anyone and he doesn’t want to talk... it’s confusing and
upsetting... he thinks he has screwed me over, but I am just trying to be there
for him and help him however I can. It’s frustrating talking to someone who is
in his situation because the whole conversation is more than just the
darkside... the conversation I am having with him right now as I type this is
frightening... I don’t know what he is doing or what is going on with him, there
is more to his pain thatn he wants us to know... there has to be... how can
someone keep something like this going for so long? Jamie, I know you will
probably read this and I just want you to know that I just want the best for you
and not the way out that you talk about, that is not the answer and your life
right now might be the bottom of the pit, but you don’t have to take that route,
there are others and much better places to go to than there, please, listen to
what your friends here have to tell you, they all take the time and effort to
tell you these things because they care or have been in a situation themselves,
maybe not as bad as yours, but they feel they can relate to some of your pain
atleast. Of course no-one will understand you fully as you are you and only
you. But we are trying to be here and there for you, even with the distance...
we are there, please get it together and just accept the help that has been
offered to you, and even take up the offer I gave you. I don’t want to see you
doing this to yourself and those who obviously care about you... there is
another way!!!
Sadly, I am currently at work so I can’t write much else... paperwork calls...
but I hope you are listening Jamie... :~(
Please... take care...
Your friend,
Mel :~(
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Message is in Reply To:
 | | Re: It can never end can it
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| Hi, Jamie. My name’s Mike. I’m the guy who made the first post in LUGNET/People/Support. I know what it feels like to have life come crashing down on top of you. I know what it’s like to have things suddenly turn dark, for all the fun and joy to get (...) (20 years ago, 9-Dec-04, to lugnet.people.support, FTX)
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