Subject:
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Re: Parental strategies? (was: Re: Abortion, consistent with the LP stance? (Re: From Harry Browne)
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.debate
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Date:
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Mon, 13 Nov 2000 13:49:24 GMT
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Viewed:
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881 times
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In lugnet.off-topic.debate, John Neal writes:
>
> Christopher Weeks wrote:
> >
> > I am careful to let my son know that we don't own him and
> > that he is not our slave. We practice a
> > parental philosophy of no forceful coersion.
>
> how old is your son?
Six (and three months).
> And why would he think that you might "own" him, or that he
> is your "slave"?
Are you asking why he would put it in those words? He wouldn't. Or are you
asking where he would get the idea that when dad says "go to your room" he
must? If the latter, most children get that idea based on the fact that their
parents will physically coerce them to obey if they choose not to. That is not
normally appropriate.
If my son is going to run out in the street, I will pull him back. I would do
that to save you from getting hit by a bus, too. My son is a small human and I
get him to do stuff for me the same way I get other people to do stuff for me.
Further, my son doesn't get punished. It doesn't work, it removes his
psychological need to make things right, and it build animosity and a power
relationship that doesn't have a place in my family. (Or, I would suggest, in
any.)
Most children are their parents' slaves, whether or not the child or the parent
thinks of it in those terms.
> (I assume you mean that you don't "own him" in the sense that he is your
> *property*, but would say that he is *your* child and thus *your*
> responsibility.)
He is my responsibility, and he is his own responsibility. What exactly do you
mean?
> It just struck me as odd that a child would even consider
> these possibilities.
>
> Now, as far as discipline goes, don't we (mustn't we) impose our
> wills upon our children every day?
No. Never. That is not the way between equals and friends.
> Maybe I am not understanding what you mean when you say "no
> forceful coersion" Please explain.
It sounds as if you understand. You just don't think I can mean what I do.
But I do. My son has freedom without license, to use a common phrase.
If you want to build scenarios, you will be able to find (non-critical)
difficulties with my system. But I will happily address them. I think this is
terribly important, but I've had relatively little effect in getting people to
see my way. At least _my_ kids get to grow up as the empowered equalls of the
adults around them.
Chris
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