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Subject: 
Re: Excellent article
Newsgroups: 
lugnet.off-topic.debate
Date: 
Wed, 15 Aug 2001 12:56:22 GMT
Viewed: 
245 times
  
In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Charles Eric McCarthy writes:
Christopher Weeks wrote:
[snip lots of interesting stuff on child-rearing]

Do you have any references to good books
that describe your ideas about child-rearing?
Especially how to handle a transition from
an authoritarian regime to one such as you describe?

That's a fantastic question.  But not specifically.

The several books by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish are considered classics by
those who believe that 'freedom without license' is the way to go, but they are
actually somewhat more restrictive than I advocate.  They would make a
fantastic start though if you were interested in reading several sources.  I
consider them a great start for the traditional parent, but not radical enough.
(Maybe that's why they sell so many books.)

A.S. Neill (of Summerhill fame) and anything published by Sudbury Valley Press
( http://sudval.org/books.html ) write a more radical picture but it is all
education-themed since they are/were educators.  Greenberg and friends at
Sudbury Valley do a tremendous job of demonstrating the value for kids going
into the 21st century gained by being given freedom (and the concomitant
responsibilities).

I've suggested it before too, but Alfie Kohn's work, especially _Punished by
Rewards_ helps to demonstrate how coercion and manipulation more often than not
backfire on the authorities anyway.

I'll ask around for other suggestions.  Since I came to this philosophy
piecemeal I never really needed this kind of source.  And I transitioned from
an environment of authority to one of equity somewhat haphazardly and over
about a year.  If such a book exists now (or ever), I'm sure the most important
single message will be to expect your kids to hassle you in testing the limits
at first.  They (and you) have to learn a whole new paradigm and that takes
time.  It is every bit as important to not let them step on your rights as it
is for you not to step on theirs.

Chris



Message is in Reply To:
  Re: Excellent article
 
(...) Do you have any references to good books that describe your ideas about child-rearing? Especially how to handle a transition from an authoritarian regime to one such as you describe? Thanks, /Eric McC/ (23 years ago, 14-Aug-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)

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