Subject:
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Re: Excellent article
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.debate
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Date:
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Sat, 11 Aug 2001 18:36:49 GMT
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Viewed:
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229 times
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In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Kirby Warden writes:
> That is a good article. I'm sure someone wants numbers and links to
> twenty-year studies, but I have to say it was good.
I would hope that everyone would like to see 20-year longitudinal studies.
Then we would have some real knowledge to bandy about.
> As a parent myself,
> with a second on the way; having observed how other parents do their job and
> recollecting what my parents did with me, I have to say that this article is
> a step in the right direction.
How? It didn't actually do anything. Mostly it came on pretty strongly that
kids these days have too much, and then backed off saying that we have the best
kids that we've ever had. So maybe some kids are excessively catered to...I'm
sure that's always been true and is now more visible because so _many_ people
have so _much_ money.
> If any of my children recieve crayons or markers, they will be told what
> *not* to do with them.
This makes it sound like the presense of drawing material in your home is
questionable. Is that what you meant? And why not raise them to be
considerate of your rights in general, rather than having to enumerate every
miniscule behavior that might upset you?
> If i find writing on the walls, someone is going to
> get a warm bottom, if I can't figure out who did it, they both get the warm
> bottom.
How silly. First, it is very dishonoring for you to treat them that way.
Also, it makes lots more sense to me to encourage them to live with you, rather
than against you. If you want for your children what they want for themselves,
there is simply nothing for them to rebel against.
> No video games except with me at the arcade.
Why?
> Limited t.v.
Why?
> Lots of time doing *projects* (here is where the wife comes in handy)
I don't get it.
> just enough toys to provide constructive alone time (where the imagination
> can be excersized)
How much is that? How do you know? What is the value therein?
> Lots of chores
Why? Which ones? How many? At what age? What do they get out of it? What
if they don't want to?
> Lots of hugs, kisses, and positive reinforcement ("lovins")
Positive reinforcement is the presentation of a stimulus. Since you have
coupled that with hugs, kisses, and "lovins," I assume you mean that you
present those things as rewards for "good" behavior. IF that's what you mean,
then I have to note that I think that's sick with a capital S! Love and
physical affection are due the children, not rewards for toeing the line.
That's your responsibility for bringing them into the world.
I wish that more folks empathized with their kids. You seem like you assume
that you have to be on some kind of opposite side or team. You don't. You can
all be on the same team, and reach so much farther.
Chris
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Excellent article
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| In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Christopher L. Weeks writes: <snipped everything> You assume too much. Or maybe I just didn't give enough detail on my parenting practices. My wife and I determine the law in our home. I balance the law in our home with (...) (23 years ago, 11-Aug-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Excellent article
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| That is a good article. I'm sure someone wants numbers and links to twenty-year studies, but I have to say it was good. As a parent myself, with a second on the way; having observed how other parents do their job and recollecting what my parents did (...) (23 years ago, 1-Aug-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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