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Subject: 
Re: "Is he seriously thinking it's going to work?"
Newsgroups: 
lugnet.adventurers, lugnet.off-topic.fun
Date: 
Tue, 24 Oct 2000 17:03:36 GMT
Viewed: 
1799 times
  
In lugnet.adventurers, Sean Forbes writes:
In lugnet.adventurers, Tobias Möller writes:

Hmm... A scorpion-towed vehicle? Maybe...

I think you would need at least ten scorpions, and I only have three
(but one is a trans-antifreeze orange one, I bet he's got super powers!).

   He's sort of like "Rudolph, the Trans-neon-orange Scorpion."
   I think you should consider the marketing potential of this,
   seeing as how Christmas is coming up and all.  At the very
   least, perhaps someone can make a short stop-motion feature.
   We do after all have a Lego Santa and sleigh set in existence.

If it was a hovering vehicle, I think it would be easier for the
scorpions to tow it.

   I'm not sure the issue is net force needed to move the object,
   rather it's the ability both to train the scorpions to move in
   unison *and* to move in the *same direction* (see below).

You should take his
comment as an inspiration to design a scorpion-towed vehicle.  The scorpion • is
very much neglected by animal-towed vehicle builders.  But how many would • you
need?

Of course, we're ignoring the fact that Lego Scorpions are at least a few feet
long. (Comparing to Minifigs)  So ten should easily pull a chariot-type
vehicle.  Of couse, the hover-chariot would be cool as well.

   One would hope that owning a hover-chariot would obviate the
   necessity of employing arthropodic power of any sort (I'm
   broadening it to include the inevitable spider facet of the
   discussion).

   After much thought, the following seem reasonable [1]:

  -Chains would be very counterproductive (heavy) methods of towing,
   even given that the scorpions are about 1m long.  (Whoa, did
   anyone else just have a flashback to "Clash of the Titans?")
   They're just way heavy.  Perhaps grappling hooks from Res-Q
   or rigging bits from Pirates could be employed?  You would
   have to find some way of keeping them apart, however, or
   your assembled scorpion sled team (probably not Iditarod-
   compliant, sorry) could degenerate into a flurry of snapping
   claws and slinging stingers.  Flex straws?

  -To get them all to go in the proper direction, it might be
   necessary to design a contrivance around a flex tube that
   would suspend, say, a kitten or a monkey torso (I know you
   .castle and .pirates people have plenty of these, seeing
   as how you lust after those brown arm bits) in front of
   said assembled scorpions a la racing dogs.  You could even cover
   it so that they don't move contra design, and utter something
   fitting when exposing the "carrot" ("Here I am, rock you like
   a hurricane!"[2]) and starting the mighty scorpion barge o' doom
   on its way.  This would also render moot the propensity for
   the scorpions to move under their own impetus.

  -The quantitative question:  This is a good one.  As a cursory
   Web search has elicited exactly zero articles or sites devoted
   to scorpion power (all the more amazing given the interest in
   Alternative Energy these days), more research must be done.
   As the Simpsons are on at 8 p.m., I do not have time to write
   an NSF grant to cover the necessary costs (anti-venom, heavy
   gloves, thick-soled boots, and naïve/expendable graduate students)
   for said research.  Trying to follow a strict equivalency argument
   about "who would win a fight" is also fruitless, because even
   the dumbest horse will not enter into such a contest against
   three or four hundred scorpions.  Finally, I have never seen
   a three-foot scorpion (save "Clash of the Titans", above), nor
   do I wish to, so we must remain completely within the realm of
   theory here.

   However, if we assume that 1m scorpions can (conservatively)
   carry 5 times their bodily mass--scaled down exponentially
   from the actual force needed to stop a normal-sized scorpion--
   then it simply becomes a matter of massing Lego scorpions
   in comparison to the vehicle and apparatus being towed.  As
   any good theorist must, I shall point out that vehicle per-
   formance will still be limited to the top speed of a *single*
   scorpion under load, and may be very much less than that, given
   that Scorpions will stop to snap at each other, die in transit,
   and/or stop to smell the Wind of Change.  Therefore we can
   expect that top speed would be likely 200 to 300 meters per
   hour.

   By the way, has anyone worked out the logistics for scorpion
   husbandry?  I mean, *someone* out there in the wide world has
   to be breeding these things.  Maybe they could work on a
   beast-of-burden breed!  ("Look at the spots, that's a Holstein
   scorpion.")

   nb.: The entire pointless ramble above presumes black scorpions.
        If you use the trans-orange super-powered variety, all bets
        are off.fnord

   Scientifically yours,

   Lindsay.nl

   [1] Inasmuch as any of this is reasonable.  I need a drink.

   [2] http://www.the-scorpions.com/scripts_us/index_us.html



Message has 1 Reply:
  Re: "Is he seriously thinking it's going to work?"
 
(...) Or, perhaps the red-orange thing is a lobster and not a scorpion at all? That would make the most sense. (24 years ago, 24-Oct-00, to lugnet.adventurers, lugnet.off-topic.fun)

Message is in Reply To:
  Re: "Is he seriously thinking it's going to work?"
 
(...) You should take his (...) is (...) you (...) Of course, we're ignoring the fact that Lego Scorpions are at least a few feet long. (Comparing to Minifigs) So ten should easily pull a chariot-type vehicle. Of couse, the hover-chariot would be (...) (24 years ago, 22-Oct-00, to lugnet.adventurers, lugnet.off-topic.fun)

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