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In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Greg and Shiri write:
> > > I don't think you can deny that when a class full of students
> > > snickers at someone's looks, behavior or something else, it is likely to
> > > affect the person who's being snickered at.
But predicting how it affects them is tough. I rebelled against it and
basically went out of my way to do whatever peerpressure told me not to do. It
was kind of a viscious circle and caused an increase in my isolation, but in
the end it was good for me. (This sounds trite, but I'm quite serious.) I was
not a happy teen. But I do think that I'm stronger knowing so fully that I can
handle being surrounded by hundreds of people who think that I'm completely the
lowest thing in existance.
> > True, true, that is true, but though this and the supposed peer pressure are
> > very similar, I would not quite call this peer pressure. This is just people
> > being mean and someone adapting so they don't have to put up with it.
So what's peer pressure? Are you saying that it has to work for it to be
classified as "peer pressure?"
> > One otehr way is to do something that people will look up
> > to you for.
Why do you have to do something to earn basic respect? Maybe kids should be
taught that a basic level of respect is simply expected of them _at least_
until particular people prove that they don't merit such respect...and maybe
even then, just to keep things civil.
> > I found my niche in sports. Yours may be in art or music, but if
> > you find a group of people who think you *are* worth something, then it makes
> > everything seem all the better.
We think Shiri's worth something, but we don't go to high school with her.
What if no one does? It would be better if she didn't have to live on the
net. I don't know if my HS chums thought that I was particularly worth
anything, maybe we mostly hung out because it was safer in numbers.
> Like I said - the above's not my problem here. Here, no one notices me at ALL,
> for good OR bad. Not sure what's worse.
Being ignored feels better...at least it did to me. But being persecuted was
probably more of a growth experience. It may only be a growth experience if
you do something to conquor the situation. I know other adults who experienced
peer torment who don't feel like they strengthed from it...but mostly they
didn't seek revenge as relentlessly as I did.
> > > Peer pressure isn't just about the "big" issues. Your every reaction in
> > > class,
> > > or in society in general, is affected by what other people will say or
think.
And that's inescapable. I didn't typically go along with the peer pressure,
but I certainly changed my behavior because of it.
> > Yes, that is because we live in a world where people have minds, and if you
> > didn't react to what anybody said, you'd most likely end up getting lynched.
Pardon? You would probably be committed to a full-care facility.
> > You have to agree with something or else you're screwed, to but it flatly.
I don't follow?
> Heh, of course, society is a very complex thing. But there are things you
> *could* do without being "lynched", and yet you don't do it because you
> wouldn't want people to think badly about you.
Like what? Like murdering and eating your neighbors? I don't do those things
because it's wrong...not to please society.
> Because a society has norms (I think that's how you say that in english...),
It is.
> and if you don't follow them, you don't fit in. And people will think "badly"
> about you, and/or won't want to associate with you, and you don't want *that*,
> now, do you?
Yes. In many ways I do. Obviously I connect with several people (my friends),
but I prefer the fact that most people are put off by me in one way or another
given enough time. It seperates the wheat from the chaff.
> So you avoid
> these things, and presto! Peer pressure, society pressure, call it what you
> want. That's what our society is based on, Greg.
I think this statement is way strong.
Chris
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Message is in Reply To:
 | | Re: Hello
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| (...) Yes, well, if someone's snickering about your lego collection in class, and everyone joins in, and you shut up and never mention that again - isn't that what I was talking about originally?... Leaving lego, or at least having "dim ages", (...) (24 years ago, 15-Jul-00, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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