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In lugnet.announce, Kevin Maynes writes:
> X-P'd to:
>
> .announce because it seems appropriate somehow
> .castle.org.cw because plenty of story stuff goes on there - I hope I'm not
> being too presumptuous
> .castle.ninja because, well, it'll be obvious momentarily
>
> Greetings all.
>
> I had the thought quite some time ago to put together an online sequential art
> piece (read: comicbook). So I commissioned a script from my Brother the Writer,
> allowing carte-blanche - all he had to do was keep it within a certain length.
> What I got a few months later was Instalment One of The Wanderer.
> Well, it sat for quite some time (several more months) before I got 'round to
> working on it, but I did finally get to it over the last few weeks. It's hardly
> top-shelf material, but I didn't want to spend TOO much time on it either -
> it's been waiting long enough.
> A lot of the panels might a bit huge, so forewarned is forearmed. I've got it
> set up so that you can decide from the Page view which Panels you want to see,
> or just click right on through them all if you like. I'm curious how the
> interface works out for people.
> There's only one instalment so far, though my brother's been making noises of
> three more. We'll see whether it's warranted to develop them further.
> Anyway, you can get to it by clicking [The Wanderer] link found here;
>
> http://www.kmaynespaint.com/Pages/SiteStructure/Subsidiaries.html
>
> We now return you to your regularly scheduled Lugnetting. :)
> Thanks for your time.
> KMaynes
I like your story but I feel that the excess blood in the story is too
reminiscent of Mortal Kombat and too many anime scenes in anime so I believe
that if you want an equally effective scene, you should use angles in your
work. I love the overall story but you need to use more angles instead of
more blood. You should also try to use more of the environment in your
fighting scenes and also try to let The Wanderer bash some people together
instead of goring people. Most thieves, pickpockets, and other petty thugs
understand the general idea that once they have been severely beaten that
they will not try to destroy that person. These are merely my opinion so
until the next issue, I have the feeling that Matchlock and company will not
be very happy when they meet The Wanderer.
Jesse Long
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