Subject:
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Re: Zarn's new adventures are up!
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.castle.org.cw
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Date:
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Sun, 25 Nov 2001 20:28:14 GMT
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Viewed:
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3498 times
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In lugnet.castle.org.cw, Shiri Dori writes:
> In lugnet.castle.org.cw, Slavick Mikhaylov writes:
> > You can see the cool new adventures. Sorry, no pics just yet, digital camera
> > still in repair but I will have the pictures up by next week or earlier. Oh
> > yeah, the stories can be viewed at http://dnd.izba.com/LEGO/lego.html Good
> > luck trying to understand it:)
>
> Hi Slavick,
>
> Nice! I like it, although it was pretty confusing at some points. Of course,
> there is a lot of background info not filled in, and that creates a
> mysterious air. (Which is good!)
> A suggestion on clearing it up, though: try to keep the narration in a
> single tense. That is, either tell all the story in past tense (They
> *entered* the gate, he *said*, she *was* confused), or all in present tense
> (They *enter* the gate, he *says*, she *is* confused). Don't mix them. It's
> a common error in writing in general - more common yet if you're not writing
> in your mother tongue. (I'm not sure if you are..) It happened to me a lot
> when I started off, but a few people pointed it out to me and now I pay
> attention.
>
> However, in your story, the confusion of tenses might be attributed to the
> severe blows and confusion caused to the characters! Good job portraying a
> hectic environment.
>
> Keep it up,
> -Shiri
Yes English is my second language and as I said the pictures will be coming
up at the end of next week. Thanks for the input everyone!
Slavick M
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Message is in Reply To:
 | | Re: Zarn's new adventures are up!
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| (...) Hi Slavick, Nice! I like it, although it was pretty confusing at some points. Of course, there is a lot of background info not filled in, and that creates a mysterious air. (Which is good!) A suggestion on clearing it up, though: try to keep (...) (25 years ago, 25-Nov-01, to lugnet.castle.org.cw)
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