Subject:
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Re: My Stance
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.admin.general
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Date:
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Thu, 19 Oct 2000 20:41:14 GMT
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Reply-To:
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moulton@hscisAVOIDSPAM.net
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Viewed:
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1966 times
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On Thu, 19 Oct 2000 18:42:06 GMT, "Jude Beaudin"
<shiningblade@home.com> wrote:
> Matthew,
>
> I have to admit I was mad and hurt. You do not have much of my respect right
> now considering the manner in which you pulled your 'stunt'. As far as you
> being banned, I am glad Todd did it and I am glad he is giving you the chance
> to voice yourself now.
As am I.
> Yesterday I posted a page flaming you and the events that transpired. But Todd
> asked me to take it down to not fuel the fire and in fact he replied three
> times to my post announcing it each each calmer then the one previous :-). He
> was right and I took it down within less than an hour of putting it up.
You had a right to have it. Your webpage is like your home, and when
people visit it, it's no different from inviting people into your
house. In your house you can express yourself the way you want, be
who you are, if people disrespect that they should leave your home. I
now understand though that you shouldn't use another persons house to
advertise yours. In other words I should not have advertised the
opinions on my website here. I should have just put them up and not
said anything.
> Even now writing this, I find it hard not to get emotional (angry). But
> emotions aside you made a good point, but you did it in a *totally wrong way*.
> And you have to suffer the consequences of that, whatever they may be.
I knew that from the start. But perhaps then I was less concerned
with the consequences and more concerned with trying to get my point
across. All of this has really affected me, mainly because it caused
me to remember something in my past. A long time ago when I was a
junior in High School this girl named Susa and I were both running for
ASB president. We had a past history of not liking each other very
much but that year we finally got to know each other and realized we
were very much alike. She didn't know I was going to run for
president, she thought I was going for Treasurer and we would work
together to do some neat things. She found out about it, but wasn't
angry at all. At that point I only saw her as my rival, I wanted an
adversary more than anything. It went to my head. For our speeches
she gave a rather amusing and comedic speech that although didn't
cover any issues was fun and interesting. I took the opportunity to
rip her apart when it was my turn. This was a mistake. People saw
her as a victim and she won by a few extra sympathy votes. At one
point later in the day she was crying. At the time I thought she was
upset at me, later when I finally got around to talking with her she
told me that she wasn't crying because I hurt her, but because people
were saying that they were going to vote for her because of what I
did. She said it was unfair and that she knew the reasons why I had
done it. That however didn't make it right. I did the wrong thing.
I should have talked with her and explained my feelings, if I had done
that things would have come out much smoother. Because of my actions
I had lost the election, lost respect from some people, and gained
respect from people that shouldn't have been giving it to me, and I
almost lost a friend. We all make mistakes, the problem is we don't
see them as such until it's too late, and then you can't take them
back.
> I hope we all can come out of this for the better and no, I do not think your
> ban should be permanent.
I've learned through this that the Lego Community is unlike the
majority of other genre groups I've participated in.
> Frankly, you have to decide if you want to forgive the people who crossed you
> years ago on RTL. I say this realizing I have to chose to forgive you. And
> there are others here that have to do the same.
I based the current views of the Lego Group with those I experienced
in RTL some time ago. Perhaps I was incorrect to assume so. You do
not need to forgive me though, as I said before I have suppressed my
emotions and buried them so deeply it's likely I'll never experience
them again.
> I know you want to remain part of the community or you would have not
> responded to Todd's olive branch. Therefore, I am going to publicly say I
> accept your apology and I ask you to accept mine for something you may or may
> not have seen (the page I put up).
I accept your apology, however if I was in your position I would think
I was undeserving of such. It is you whom deserve the apology, my
apology. But I have learned that saying your sorry doesn't take back
what was said. And it is that aspect which concerns me the most. I
said some things that probably should not have been said, I should I
gone about my point much more carefully and directly without using
destruction to initiate creation. The concept works, and it works
well, but not here. Other groups (that I am used to) where the idea
of actually being able to hurt someone's feelings is not an issue it's
okay. Here, it is not. Sometimes I guess it's hard to remember that
there are real people on the other end, people who are much more than
just the text they type on the screen.
> I hope one day I can call you a friend, and that you will become a positive
> participant in the on-line LEGO community. The very time you took to start the
> flamewar you could have taken to encourage someone and made a difference that
> way.
>
> Jude
I hope so too, but first I must learn to control my opinions and
ideals. I must learn to express myself without responding in a harsh
way to peoples feedback. I still believe in many of the things I
discussed, I know a lot of people disagree with those opinions and I
must be willing to accept that and not try to force people through
flaming that I am right. I will no longer discuss any shaky issues
here or on any forum, I will however continue to express my opinions
about things on my webpage (although I am in the process of revising
some of those opinions to reflect my true opinion rather than my
inflamed one).
-Matthew
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: My Stance
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| (...) <snip> (...) Sorry for being ignorant from time to time, but I'll ignore your well worded schweety talk. I have just a question, though. You already made your "point". You proved that we are a bunch of pathetic losers of an evil community, so (...) (24 years ago, 20-Oct-00, to lugnet.admin.general)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: My Stance
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| (...) Matthew, I have to admit I was mad and hurt. You do not have much of my respect right now considering the manner in which you pulled your 'stunt'. As far as you being banned, I am glad Todd did it and I am glad he is giving you the chance to (...) (24 years ago, 19-Oct-00, to lugnet.admin.general)
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