Subject:
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Star Wars vs Titanic (humour)
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.starwars
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Date:
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Fri, 18 Jun 1999 20:42:43 GMT
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Viewed:
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596 times
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I don't typically forward the humour spam that migrates through my in-box, but
remembering the recent SW/Titanic threads a couple weeks ago, this caught my
attention:
Reasons Why Star Wars Is Better Than Titanic
Titanic's big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.
Star Wars has WAY cooler action figure potential.
Yoda could use the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.
Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material;
Rose is just marriage bait.
Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.
When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge can't say "Look at the size of
that thing!" and really mean it.
It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving
madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.
Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic
characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians
to Admiral.
Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral manages NOT to lose his ship.
We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his
fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he
strangles people and blows up planets for fun.
Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing?
People have not lost their lives trying to recreate scenes from Star
Wars on the bow of a cruise liner.
Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hut.
Two words: John Williams.
There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.
Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings of the
world"?
If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he
would use the Force to get the key.
"I'd rather be his whore than your wife" just doesn't have the same
sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."
Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply
freezes.
We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated "Luke...
I am your father"?
Han Solo would've missed the dang iceberg!
James
http://www.shades-of-night.com/lego/
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Star Wars vs Titanic (humour)
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| (...) Those were good! Thanks. :-) BTW, I just read about SW's "Fan Day" - the grassroots effort to get people to go see SW-EP1 TPM "as many times as you can stand". It is an effort to push the movies ticket sales past Titanic's. Seems to me that if (...) (25 years ago, 19-Jun-99, to lugnet.starwars)
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