Subject:
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Effective Posting 101
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.fun
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Date:
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Mon, 23 Jul 2001 01:05:45 GMT
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Viewed:
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153 times
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Its one of those couldn't resist things again...
I am going to show you that one of the keys to effective posting is that you
can easily turn sentences into virtual paragraphs, then you will know that
it is possible for even you to turn sentences into virtual paragraphs and
once you've learned this technique you can start turning sentences into
virtual paragraphs. You can disregard the fact that people are annoyed by
long and repetitive sentences, because even if people are annoyed with long
and repetitive sentences it doesn't matter because you can now know that you
are good at turning sentences into virtual paragraphs. So when people try
to attack you when you are posting, you can crush them with your superior
ability to turn sentences into virtual paragraphs, for if you don't prove
them wrong, you can at least get them to stop bothering you because you can
turn sentences into virtual paragraphs.
Technique 1:
Be absolutely sure to unnecessarily repeat key phrases or names (it is
important to unnecessarily repeat them). Compare:
I think they use the towers in LEGO Castle Sets, but if they don't already,
they should start doing it.
--with--
The towers could have also been used in LEGO Castle sets but I believe that
they already use these towers in LEGO Castle sets and if they do not use
these towers on LEGO Castle sets, then The LEGO Company should start to use
those tower pieces in LEGO Castle sets.
Why settle for less, when you can have more? Surely the second paragraph
(from a genius Lugnetter who shall remain nameless) is much more effective
than the first, and it is more effective because the poster unnecessarily
repeats key phrases. Here's another example, again, compare:
I never said where I lived in that post, but I might have somewhere else.
--with--
I never mentioned where I lived in that post, Matthew. I may have
mentioned where I lived in another post but not that post, Matthew. I just
wanted to inform you of the contents of the post, Matthew.
You can still see that the second one is more effective, and it is more
effective becasue of its repetitive use of being repetitive. This example
above leads me to my second technique I want to talk about, and it will be
that second technique I will talk about next.
Technique 2:
Always repeat someone's name. You need to make absolutely (100 percent
beyond a shadow of a doubt and beyond question) that the person who you are
talking to knows you are talking to him, because if he/she didn't, how would
he or she know you are talking to him/her? Using the example above, you can
see (it is clearly visible) that the example above is far more effective than:
Matthew, I never mentioned where I lived in that post.
..because in this second example, it is a bit ambiguous (if I were Matthew I
wouldn't know he was talking to me because he didn't make it absolutely
clear he was talking to me) that he is talking to Matthew.
There are other techniques I want to discuss, but I can't go into depth
because I am running out of time (it is raining outside and the sky looks
very dark) but I still want to talk about these techniques and discuss them
with you. They will greatly improve your posting effectiveness and your
ability to post effective messages. So, because I do not have much time
(aside from the fact that it is in fact raining outside, I have to keep
working on a certain wingless spaceship of mine), I will only list the
techniques, and not provide examples. I will not provide examples because I
am running out of time.
Technique 3:
Be sure to always apologize profusely for the slightest error you make.
Technique 4:
Be sure to disregard others' expertise in an area and only hold to thinks
that you say are true.
Technique 5:
Repeat yourself unnecessarily.
Technique 6:
Repeat yourself unnecessarily.
That is all I have to say for today because I am running out of time here,
and I will say more later because I cannot say more now, I am running out of
time.
BTW - I thoroughly enjoyed the recent Galaxy Enforcer contest, congrats to
the winners of the Galaxy Enforcer contest because they are the winners of
the Galaxy Enforcer contest and they deserve congratulating. They built the
best Galaxy Enforcer models.
:^D
-Tim
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Effective Posting 101
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| LOL! (sarcasm fully engaged) That was masterfully crafted Tim. You're such a funny guy Tim, I wish there were more funny people on LUGNET like you Tim. You remind me of a funny friend I had once Tim. I'm sorry for running on like this Tim. I think (...) (23 years ago, 23-Jul-01, to lugnet.off-topic.fun)
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